Wild Sugardumplin's blog: "Food For Thought"

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary. My confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it.. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a crèche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away. I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians.. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat. Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too... But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to. In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking. Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?' In light of recent events... Terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK. Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK. Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they Don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.' Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace. Are you laughing yet? Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on Your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they Will think of you for sending it. Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us. Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... No one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in. My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully, Ben Stein

Yesterday, Americans by the millions went to the polls and elected a new President. Today in America, a police officer will risk her life to save someone she's never met. A teacher will stay late to help an at-risk student. A driver will pull off the road to help a stranded motorist. In America today, a firefighter will charge toward a burning building -- while those inside flee. Soldiers, sailors, airmen and marines will kiss their spouses and kids goodbye, then ship out for foreign lands in order to protect them. A craftsman will return home to tell his wife that he has lost his job. An entrepreneur will open the doors of her new business for the first time. A doctor will gird herself to tell a patient that he has cancer, and she will formulate a regimen for his treatment. Today, a tired woman will head to a second job to give her kids a better chance at college. A volunteer will use his lunch hour to deliver food to the elderly. The grand-daughter of a pioneer and the son of an immigrant will wed their lives together. A bartender will cut off a customer before he has drunk one too many. A child will experience the joy of realizing that letters, so carefully memorized, connect together to form these things called words. A young woman will give birth to a child, and she and her husband will never look at their lives -- or life, itself -- the same way. Across America, these acts -- these triumphs and tragedies, the heroism and joys, the fear and disappointments of daily life -- will be repeated today by workaday heroes and unsung heroines. Like they were yesterday. And the day before. Just as in Maine the sun this morning will rise once again over the Atlantic and set in Hawaii over the Pacific. Partisans of one party will celebrate today, while the other side, no doubt, plots a comeback. But for most folks life will go on as before. Because -- despite the bombast and the attack ads and the talking heads and the polls -- most things, the truly important things, rarely have much to do with an election. The strength of this country is -- and always has been -- its people, the roots that produced such leaders as Washington and Jefferson, Jackson and Lincoln, T.R. and Truman. It is we, the people, who "ordain and establish" our Constitution and government. Not vice-versa. And it is we who make this country work, for better and worse. It has been said that we get the government we deserve, often as a way to rationalize the leadership we got. But, rather than expecting the public to settle for diminished expectations, perhaps it is time our leaders remembered their obligation to be worthy of the people they serve. Starting with the man we have just chosen to work in a smallish, not-quite-round office in an ornate building far, far away from most of us. William Tate is an award-winning journalist and author.

1. Whenever answering the phone, and its for your boss, say "He's under his desk screwing his secretary. Can I take a message?" 2. Strip off all your clothes. Complain about how hot it is in the office, regardless of the temperature. 3. When your boss is on the phone scream, "Dammit! I'm expecting a call!! Stay off the phone!!" 4. If your boss bumps into you, start screaming sexual harassment. Talk in great lengths about the state laws on harassment. Get the authorites involved. Threaten to sue. 5. Sleep with your boss's daughter. Videotape it. Pass out copies around the office. Brag about how easy she was. 6. Steal various office equipment, (pencils, staplers, desks) frame your boss for it. 7. When asked to do something start laughing hysterically. Continue this for five minutes. Calm down and say, "Oh, you were being serious?" 8. Loosen the bolts on the boss's chair. Laugh loudly when he/she falls down. Play innocent. 9. Whenever the boss starts to tell you a story, interrupt him/her with a story of your own. Make sure the story is boring and has no point whatsoever. 10. Send a dozen roses to your boss's house when their spouse is home. Sign an ex-flames name on the card. Next day, ask him/her how their evening was. Be obvious.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?' The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think. When my grandmother got arthritis, she could not bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.' Rebecca- age 8 'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.' Billy - age 4 'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.' Karl - age 5 'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.' Chrissy - age 6 'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.' Terri - age 4 'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.' Danny - age 7 ‘Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss' Emily - age 8 'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and Listen.' Bobby - age 7 'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,' Nikka - age 6 'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.' Noelle - age 7 ‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.' Tommy - age 6 'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.' Cindy - age 8 'My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.' Clare - age 6 'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.' Elaine-age 5 'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.' Chris - age 7 'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day..' Mary Ann - age 4 'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.' Lauren - age 4 'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.' Karen - age 7 'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.' Mark - age 6 'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.' Jessica - age 8 And the final one The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry' WE CAN LEARN ALOT FROM THE CHILDREN OF THIS WORLD..SOMETIMES WE JUST HAVE TO TAKE THE TIME TO STOP AND LISTEN AND REMEMBER!

I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and after he had just finished a rough first day on the job: a flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric drill quit and his ancient one ton truck refused to start. While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss. Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier. "Oh, that's my trouble tree," he replied "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing's for sure, those troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children... So I just hang them up on the tree every night when I come home and ask God to take care of them. Then in the morning I pick them up again." "Funny thing is," he smiled," when I come out in the morning to pick'em up, there aren't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."

I cannot see I cannot pee I cannot chew I cannot screw O My God, what can I do? My memory shrinks My hearing stinks No sense of smell I look like hell My mood is bad-can you tell? My body's drooping Have trouble pooping The Golden Years have come at last. The Golden Years can kiss my ass!

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and heads to the docks once more for old times' sake. He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks, 'How am I doing'? The prostitute replies, 'Well old sailor, you're doing about 3 knots'. Three knots he asks, 'What's that supposed to mean'? She says, 'You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting your money back

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence. 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland , CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.' 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts. 4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka , Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him. 5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the man shouted, that's not what I said!' 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!' 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto , CA , Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)! 8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella , located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield , CA , some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

To realize The value of a sister... Ask someone Who doesn't have one. To realize The value of ten years: Ask a newly Divorced couple To realize The value of four years: Ask a graduate. To realize The value of one year: Ask a student who Has failed a final exam. To realize The value of nine months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn. To realize The value of one month: Ask a mother Who has given birth to A premature baby. To realize The value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper. To realize The value of one minute: Ask a person Who has missed the train, bus or plane. To realize The value of one-second: Ask a person Who has survived an accident. Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have. You will treasure it even more when You can share it with someone special. To realize the value of a friend or family member : LOSE ONE.

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: Michael if you were on a date, having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?' Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.' The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?' Sherman said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.' That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Edward, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners? 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to 'after dinner.' The teacher fainted