SeXyKaT's blog: "Kat's Blog"

HOW BLONDE IS SHE?? She was Soooooooo Blonde She thought a quarterback was a refund. She thought General Motors was in the army. She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. At the bottom of an application where it says 'Sign here:' she wrote 'Sagittarius.' She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde... She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept She sent a fax with a stamp on it. Under 'education ' on her job application, she put 'Hooked On Phonics.' She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde... She tripped over a cordless phone. She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can be cause it said 'Concentrate.' She told me to meet her at the corner of 'WALK' and 'DON'T WALK.' She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde... She studied for a blood test. She sold the car for gas money. When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead. When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, 'Airport Left,' she turned around and went home. She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde... When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless. She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening. She had a shirt that said 'TGIF,' which she thought stood for 'This Goes In Front.' AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE: She is sooooooooooooooooo Blonde... She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

None of that Sissy Crap Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship. 1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against t he sorry bastard who made you sad. 2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in. 4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining. 6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. 7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have. 8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. 9.. This is my oath .... I pledge it to the end 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'. Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's true warmth. Remember: A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel...

A jumbo jet is making its final approach to Tampa Airport. The pilot comes on the intercom, 'This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa. I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay in the Tampa Bay area'. He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit. The copilot can be heard saying to the pilot, 'So, Skip, whatcha got planned while we're in Tampa?' 'Well,' says the skipper, 'first I'm gonna check into the hotel, take a big crap....then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out for dinner.... I'm gonna wine and dine her, take her back to my room and give her a ride on the baloney pony all night long.' Aghast and amused, everyone on the plane hears this and immediately begins looking up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who is the new stewardess who the pilot is talking about. Meanwhile, the new stewardess is seated at the very back of the plane. She is so embarrassed that she starts running toward the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes. The old lady leans over and says: 'No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta land the plane and take a shit first.

WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH............ 1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS. 2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING ' WOO-HOO! ' IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND. 3. WE ' VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S BUTT AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO. 4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE HOMELESS HOOKERS THAN THE GODDESSES WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO .. 5. WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH. 6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAYS BECAUSE 'OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!' 7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US. 8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT. 9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE VODKA. 10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR (or the mop?) 11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT. 12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

50,000 FUBUCKS GOES TO THE 50TH NEW MEMBER TONIGHT AT FANTASY'S DELIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! Click to join us@Fantasy's Delight!!!! See you there!!! COME IN, SUBSCRIBE AND START INVITING FRIENDS AND STRANGERS CUZ THE PERSON WHO GETS OUR 50TH NEW MEMBER INTO THE ROOM WINS 15,000 FUBUX TOO!! SO COME ON, COME HANG OUT AND HAVE SOME FUN!! WE ADDED WEBCAMS TO THE LOUNGE TODAY!!

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. The guy knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." He walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings." "Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly. His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to ask, "So, how long have you been wearing one?" "Ever since my wife found it in my truck."

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting ,'13....13....13' The fence was too high to see over,but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on. Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick. Then they all started shouting '14....14

Two little old ladies were attending a rather long church service. One leaned over and whispered, "My butt is going to sleep." "I know," replied her companion, "I heard it snore three times."

When Cardboard Men Come In Handy A car gets a flat on the interstate one day. The blonde driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up. It isn't very long before a police car arrives. The officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What's going on here?" "My car broke down, officer" says the woman calmly "Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?" he asks. "Helllooooooo!!!!" says the blonde. "Those are my emergency flashers!"