Im just me take it or leave it's blog: "poem"

what is going on in my mind alot of things is going on what ami gonna do what am i gonna say people tell me to listen to my heart well honestly i do not know what mt heart is tellin me it tells me to be happy and do whats right but honestly what is really right? like my life whats right man i take it day by day and see what happens and go from there i take it day by day i dont planit out in ahead of time it will take out all the fun and suprises in it and all the adventure to live ur life out of a plan ok love ok thats a diff. story love someone who dont love u backor u dont know if they love u back, love someoen who loves u back but ur not inlove with that person what are u to do?or fall for someoen who treats u like ur presicous gold and treats u like a princess that u so love to be all the years?or be with the one who loves u deeply and shows it but it diff. because u love em but not the way he does? what are you to do u have this person who makes u smile makes ur heart skip to the sound of his voice make ur knees weak to the touch u have this man who make su feel wonderful puts u infront of everything or u have this man who u been knowing but not really knowing the real person that he is and for what he is.. in the words of my fave. chick evanesence "i been alone all these years" "i held his hands all thses years and he still left all of me"so u see it is hard to guess someone who hides these feelings never try to guess or figure out what is in someones mind or heart let them tell u let them look u in the eyes and sit u down and tell u what is in the heart and on the mind when they are ready.... i am tired of childish games if u want soemhting go for it do not tagg it along all it will do it ruine somehting good that your scared of having and u know deep down that it is but your scared to let go i understand and feel... just know ur heart will tell u the truth...

infinity plus two the love of my life is oh so far away i think about you every minute of the day when we first met it was love at first sight deep in my heart i knew everyhting was right losing you is my biggest fear oh how i wish you were here what did u do to me? what did u say? i never knew i can feel this way i see us on the ocean walking on the sand the moon in your eyes and the warmth of your hand your lips touched mine my heart stood still i felt soemthing inside i never knew i could feel my hand started sweating i forgot my name from that night on out i never felt the same you are perfect for me in every wich way you are my destiny what can i say all i know is i want to be with you deep in my heart i know you want me too im hurtting inside; i wish you could see me every minute with out youis forever to me without you in my heart theres nothing i can do so if i could ask for anything i'd only ask for you we were ment to be toghter you know this is true i love you forever infinity plus two

11-29-05 is the day i found out my uncle passed away at home i went to see him that night he was still warm but yet so stiff i didnt know what to do or what to say i ran to him and hugged his hard warm body and kissed him so softly and told him well asked him why did he let go after 3 years of fighting canser i finnaly relized he is not in pain he is not suffering he is finnaly resting all i could do is run next to my aunt and comfort her i know she needs it is been 48 years they were married 48 wonderful years with one person u grow to love and charished she didnt know what to do but cry like i am i am like sufficating in side holding all the tears in but then a moment came when they covered his face when i could not hold back any longer when they came to take his body i was shivering so bad and throwing up and dyeing inside i was so scared of what was going on my aunt told us right before he passed that he looked at her and told her "baby my arms are hott baby look i am shaking icant stop " and righ thtat moment he looked at her closed his eyes and GOD took him home to rest he told us that monday i went to see him before he passed that he didnt sleep in 6 days he could not sleep laying down or he would suffercate his kidneys failed on him his heart was weack he looked at me and told me that day he was lettin go he was tired he cant fight anymore that he wants to go home now that killed me but i know now he is finnaly resting and he is finnaly at ease it is hurtting me inside and i dont know why i see his picture and i die inside the day of the funneral was 11-30-05 that day i was still not to good but good enough to walk and smile i went to his casket and grabed him so tight i never wanted to let go i wanted to hold him still hold him and tell him i love him like the night i seen him dead in his chair i wanted to pickhis body up and hold him tight well i left the funneral with courage that i will make it throw the night and the next day. well 12-01-05 the day he went to rest in the grown was the day i gave up hope for life we were at the home i begged not to go but i went out of love and hope and asked GOD & my loving husband who was a paulbarrier to give me courage to make it threw the day the time came we had to go to the church we had to pay our last respects was when i lost it i didnt wanna leave the casket i cried to hard my chest was giving up on me my eyes were blurry my chest was hurtting i could not breath right well i kept strong fo rmy aunt sake and my family we walked in front of him i kept lookin back and it killed me inside to see him like that well we get in the church and sit and next thing i know hes walkin in the church that moment seeing him being carried in hurted me so i new righ tthen i will never be the same i strating gettin weak my eyes were blurry my chest hurtted so much i could not breath right i statreted to shake real bad that monet on i knew i was bad i sat down and slept a lil while till we had to bring him to his bed i was able to walk a lil i was able to stand untill the prist said we now lay him to rest i grabed a flower and laid on his feet and kissed his casket and said good night and love you ur not at rest and we will be runited once again in time will tell but untill then i keep my headup and i live my life with u still init and made my promise to care for my aunt .you see this lil story is about me and my uncle i am dearly close to him and my aunt raised me from birth till now i ammore closer to my dad paran and my uncle johnny the dearly departed but yet still loved i spet 23 years with them and more to come just in time when it is my time to go i hpe i see him at the peraly white gates awaiting my arrival the end

obsession in words it is hard for me to explain how i feel and that its only you i claim throught those gloomy and hectic days we shared i brushed off things as if i never cared but when the time came that we were to part i then relized my change in feelings began to start days with you became so bright having you added a smile to my stressful life i just wanted to tie my arms around you and look into your eyes beind mine all you will see is a disguise so let me tell you my little secret confession it's that my feelings for you are a total obsession