ECHIS's blog: "The golf game"

THE FARTMAN COMETH I must warn you all of a being foul and vulgar. Please heed my words, for this way the Fartman cometh. I know what your thinking, Jeff you have lost your sanity (maybe but that will have to wait for another blog), Fartman? What kind of joke is this? Sorry no joke the danger is always near. I was there when the elevator doors opened, the stench, the pealing paint, the scorch marks and the bodies on the floor with the look of horror and suffering frozen on the faces. Six bodies laying asphyxiated, ass-fixiated? laying on the floor. Who is this Fartman? you ask. Not who, but what, thats is what you should be asking. Fartman hides his appearance. He looks, if you could see him, like a big brown eye, a big brown harry eye. Alarming I know, that is why he wont let us see him. He starts out so innocent, pull my finger, isnt this fun. This is only the beginning, his true colors soon come out. I was at the elevator, I have seen so I know. He is always after us. Think a minute and you will see. On your fisrts date, durring an interview or maybe stopped by a traffic cop. Suddenly the air turns blue, Then its 'I have to get up early', 'dont call us we will call you' or can you please step out of the car sir?'. You of just been assaulted by the Fartman. Ass-saulted? This is alarming I know. Sad to say this is only the beginning, crack really does kill. How many fires, car wrecks, plane crashes and god alone knows what other dastardly deeds he has gotten away with. D-ass-tardly? It gets even worse. Volcanoes, Earthquakes and tsuamis. He dosnt stop there. What happened to atlantis? The mayans? The dinosaurs? I think you can guess the truth. They say the dinosaurs where wiped out by an astroid. Really? Ass-troid? The govenerment is trying to keep this under wraps. The truth would cause panic. They have tried to stop him before. Everytime they try they fail. Remember Iraq? weapons of mass distruction? No they really meant ass-destruction. You never know what Fartman will do, it could be just a little poot that will chase you from the room, or it could be a supernova bringing destruction to all we have known. How do we stop Fartman? I think I have a plan. But... Choking... Gagging....Cant breath..... The basterd found me again...... Cant type......Eyes watering.....Everthing turning black......Damn you Fartman!....Damn you to hell!

I am the mushroom, you feed me shit all day. You keep me in the dark, your crap on me your spray. All this dung your feeding me makes me stronger everyday. Why dont you just give up because your looking kinda gay. yes I am a mushroom, what will I do to you? Will I get you sick? Or high? Will you die? DO nothing? Make you sit on the lou? Will I make you see god? Or make me laugh at you? When all is said and done...though it makes me kinda blue,I give your shit back, twice fold. Now what you going to do?

Darkness my friend where are you? They caught me in the daylight again. Caught again in the light. Exposed, Naked, at they're mercy. Mercy? They have no mercy. They just laugh at sorrow and pain. Darkness? Can you hear me? They are trying to break me again. They say I have no heart. Thats what they say. No heart? No, they can not see it because it is filled with darkness. Can I hold on a couple of hours till night? They cant find my in the night wrapped in your embrace. They try, I must be still, they still look. Hurry darkness bring on the night. I will be safe at night, if for only a couple of hours. Help me get out of the light! They corrupted it, twisted it. War, disease, famine, but no death. No not death. They want me alive so they can feed on pain and suffering. The bastards. Come help me darkness. Get me out of the light. When I am with you they cant find me, They bring light to expose and ridicule me. Darkness please tell me...... Is it them or am I just doing this to me?

Ooyee Gooyee was a worm a mighty worm was he. He sat upon a railroad track a train he did not see. OOYEE GOOYEE!!!

Q- What does a redneck chick do after sucking a cock? A- Spits out the feathers.

He who farts and runs away. Lives to fart another day.

A Somali arrives in Minneapolisas a new immigrant to the United States.He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me housing, foodstamps, free medical care, and free education!" The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican." The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for havingsuch a beautiful country here in America!" The person says, "I not American, I Vie tnamese." The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops,shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful America!" That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East, I am not American!" He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?"She says, "No, I am from Africa!" Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?" The African lady checks her watch and says..."Probably at work."

Subject: World peace Three guys -- a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American engineer are walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. 'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes total' says the Genie. The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada .' Pooooof! With a blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming. Osama bin Laden was amazed, so he said, 'I want an impenetrable wall around Afghanistan , Iraq and Iran with all of my believers of Mohammad inside and all Jews, Americans, and other infidel forever outside our precious state. 'Pooooof! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.. The American engineer asks, 'I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall'. The Genie explains , 'Well, it's 5000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds these countries........ it's virtually impenetrable. Now what is your wish?' The American engineer smiles and says, 'Fill it with water.' Pooooof! WORLD PEACE !!

Ok this should be a good one (I hope). We will start of with FRIENDS. If you are on my friends list,thanks for being there. I will try to respond to you help request ( I have helped some people out today), sometimes I cant. nothing personal. So dont send me bulletins about what an asshole I am! I get enough of that in real life. I will help if I can dont try to make me feel guilty about it. Ok, Fans. If you add me as a FAN. I will probably add you. If you like Snakes, Dragons, Cats, and, or the SEAHAWKS! Or since I have been in Mississippe for over a year the SAINTS! Ok lets see what I have written so far. Ok Family. There are some of you that are close. If you dont know who you are, you are the ones that leave me comments, or messages or shout outs. So if you want to be on my family list just ask. Oh one more thing. It would help if you can put up with spiders. You dont have to like everything I have listed you just have to put up with it.