Smack it up, flip it, rub it down.

The moral of the story is that bands with no talent can easily amuse idiots with a stupid puppet show.

Lap dance, No pants, That's what I call romance.

Buckle Up!! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car.

Put 'Em On The Glass!

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover & my penis was missing again. This happens all the time, it's detachable.

Never raise more devils than you can put down.

Has there ever actually been a chick that was impressed by the helicopter dick?

Rectum, hell ... It nearly killed'em!

If you don't sin, Jesus died for nothing.

Cool story bro. Wanna hear mine? It's a fairytale. Once upon a time, nobody gave a shit. The end.

It's bad luck to be superstitious!

"I'm going to do you so hard", I whispered as I proceeded to do my homework.

Wang Dang Sweet Poontang!

Same shit, different day.

Ding Ding Ding, we have a winner, Someone on this site is offended by the word "porn". Not actual pornography mind you, but the word "porn". For a site that's beyond obsessed with alcoholism & weed, being offended by the word "porn" seems a bit, uhhh, disturbed. Whoever you are, I genuinely urge you to seek the mental health assistance you so clearly are in need of.

I'm kind of a big deal . . . people know me.

There was an old man from Madras, whose balls were made of fine brass. So in stormy weather they both clang together and sparks flew out of his ass.

Women say that size doesn't matter but I have yet to meet a woman that owns a 3 inch crooked vibrator.

Like a $10 hooker, it wasn't pretty but it got the job done.