Julienia's blog: "what is love?"

I think I know what you are about to say, I can see it in your eyes, and on your face. we swore we never would, so while the word's are still unspoken, don't you think you should take a breath, take a moment, take your time, before you LIE, because once you do. Love is different, everything changes between you and I. It just get's earier everytime, you can still change your mind. Before you lie. All I ask of you is honesty. We said that is how this would always be, so be cafeful of what you say. Because it only takes half of the truth to throw it all away. It's up to you, it can go either way. You get to chose which road we take. So take a deep breath, before you lie.....

The time that i've wasted is my biggest regret, spent in these places I will never forget. Just sitting and thinking of the things that I've done. Now it's just me and my hard driven guilt. behind a wall of emptiness I allowed to be built. I'm trapped in my body, just wanting to run. Back to my youth with laughter and fun. But the chase is over and there's no place to hide, everything is gone, including my pride. With reality suddenly pushing right in my face, I'm scared, alone and stuck in this place. Now memories of my past flash through my head, and the pain is obvious by the tears that I shed, I ask myself why? and where? it went wrong. I guess I was weak when I should've been strong. Living for the drugs and the wings that I've grown, My feelings were lost, afraid to be shown. As I look at my past it's easy to see, the fear that I had, was afraid to be me. I pretended to be rugged, so fast so cool when actually lost like blind fool. I'm getting to old for this tiresome game, or acting real hard with no sense of shame. It's time that I change and get on with my life, fulfilling my dreams with my family, what the future will hold I really dont know, But the time I've wasted is starting to show. I just live for the day when I'll get a new start, and the dreams I still hold deep in my heart. I hope I can make it, I at least have to try, Because I'm heading for death, and I dont want to die... By Julienia

In life there are times when we go through things, we dont have to just for love. Now why is that? Maybe because we feel that we are not worth more than that, or is it that it's what we;ve came to belive from all the things we've seen in our lives. Now answer me this, why would you hurt someone you love or care about? Why would you call them names, or raise your hand, does it make you feel more like a man? Well this is how I see it, If you have to hurt someone to love them, them you dont deserve them. Leave them be and become someone to love, love yourself first. because if you dont then noone else will. Don't hurt the ones who love you, charish them, because one day they will be gone and who will you have left to say I love you, or I miss you NO'ONE JUST YOU SO BE TRUE TO YOURSELF AND OTHER'S WILL BE TRUE TO YOU! BY JULIENIA, JUST NOW

What if I was able to see things through you eyes what is it that I would see? Would it be the pain, the hurt, the love you've lost? The things you've seen would only burn through my heart and soul, I can't belive you have lost so much for a man to hold. There is life in you and I see it to be true, I know there is love in you also. Sometimes it's hard to just let go and trust someone, but belive me holding on to the things in your heart will only burn your soul. I know the man in you is great, and for that I do see right into you. I tell you this, I know where you've been and know what you've been through, and this I can promise you only made you the man you are today, the man I want to know. To look into your eye's would be something to remember, but I want to see the man you are without all the pain. This is too a very special friend of mine, and names are no need, he knows who he is and so do I. By Julienia, just wriiten now.

My bestfriend and my lover; My companion through the journey of life. All these things you are to me.Through good times and through strife. I look into your eyes, and see all my dreams there. My heart knows no boundries, My soul knows no fear. God placed you by myside, and there you'll always stand, Shoulder to Shoulder, eye to eye, forever hand in hand. Most times I walk beside you Other's I walk behind you, so I'm able to watch over you, when you have a troubled mind. My need for you is great. My love for you is true. My FRIEND, My HERO. I GIVE MY LIFE AND SOUL TO YOU... JULIENIA 8-2-07

Someday we'll be together, when life is the way we want, you'll be by my side. Kissing me awake in the morning,holding me close to you at night.We'll be able to share the details of our days, and take time to think of our future. Afuture spread like the red carpet, rolled out just for us. Someday we'll be together hand and hand, and this time apart will be a memory, a gift made even more beautiful by the wait.Someday we'll be together for always. By Julienia 4/17/2003

I Love You I love you so much I guess that's why sometimes I get impatient waiting. Wondering when we'll finally be together all the time. I understand that it has to be this way for now. And I really belive, I'm doing the right thing. I trust that our love is strong enough to see us through. And that someday soon, we'll be able talk, and touch, and love eachother, the way we've wanted to. It's just difficult for me sometimes, because I want you so much now. I know our time will come, and when it does, it will be right. And very Beautiful.... by Julienia, 8-2-07

Why is it so hard to find something you think you want, but don't really need? Why is it so hard to live in a world so messed up? Why would you want something you know you cant have? Why do you think everything matter's? Why do we feel that we need someone, to be someone? Why do we make such a big deal out of nothing at all? Why do we care what people think, feel, or say to us? Why can't we just live in this world together? Why does something so small, seem to be the biggest thing in life to us?Why is it that i'm doing this? Well the only answer I have right now is: WHY NOT