Sunday, July 22, 2007
Sad
Kaleb is still in PICU. Today they have a 24 hour EEG machine hooked up to him. They are seeing if he has persistant seizures. It looks like something from a sci-fi movie. I think he is very uncomfortable. He has been so fussy since he's gotten to the hospital, he knows he is not at home. Hopefully this EEG will show that he has more brain activity then they originally thought. We have been told this time at the hospital that Kaleb WON't get better. That most of his brain is gone. This has really saddened my heart and it is hard not to believe them. But that only lasts about an hour and then I pray for faith again. Faith is all we need. I am trying to believe that he will do everything that they say he won't... but that feeling of uncertianty sits in the pit of my stomach. I've asked God to give Kaleb the strength to pull through this one and to keep my hope going. I am not going to lie, I feel very weak right now. I am very sad. I pray that God will restore Kaleb's brain. I feel like I am in a nightmere set on repeat. I just want my littlle boy to hit those little milestones that every mother waits for. I want him to say Mama and Daddy. I want his eyes to light up when he sees us like he used to. I want him to crawl and walk. I want him to hit his first homerun at a baseball game. I want to see him have children. ALl of these things I hope for. But maybe God has a different plan for all of us an I pray for understanding of this that surpasses peace. We have been holding on to the hope that he will be restored for almost 3 months now. It feels more like 3 years. I pray that Justice is done for him.
Please I ask, I beg of all of you. Just pray for Kaleb, this is all we need, prayer. Pray for strength and faith for my whole family.
There is so much going on that Kaleb is the center of. A lot of it is not good. I know there are people out there who feel that I did this to my son. I DID NOT! Unfortunately they too are entitled to their opinions.But please remember that the "Facts" that you know, are not facts. But please I ask of you who feel this way, stop. Stop attacking me. Stop doing what you are doing. I have never said anything ill mannered about or to the person who is CHARGED for this crime against my son. If you don't like me or the response that my sons story has gotten, keep it to yourselves or on your forums. Quit making pages that slam me left and right. Quit emailing my husband. This is a VERY difficult time for us and by you doing this it makes it harder. You say you support Kaleb and that you do this for Kaleb. You are not supporting him at all. You are attacking the two people who love and cherish this child more than anything and that is not in any way supporting him. You are attacking people who have done things in his honor, that is not supporting him. I am sorry that you think so ill of me... I haven't done anything to make you feel that way. I write what I think, I am an open person, and because you don't like what I say, isn't going to make me stop. I pray for your group of people everyday. I have opened up our lives and our hardships for the world to see, yes I know... But please stop. This will be the last time that I address this. I am asking you from the bottom of my heart.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Saying
"Darkness is the absence of light...
Cold is the absence of Heat...
Bad thing are the absence of God."
I got a letter from a Prisoner in the Lehigh County Prison in PA named Joshua Charest who included this saying in the letter. His story is a miracle in itself and lifted my spirits. I prayed for God to show his presence to me and I believe that it was done by receiving this letter. Thank you Joshua. I know that you can't see this post but I know that your friend Dana from NJ will let you know that we appriciated your letter. 
