legalboxers's blog: "Life"

I was on this site many years ago, in Feburary somehow my profile got deleted. I am now at a level I wanted to be. I met someone when this site was called CherryTap. She was from Pa running away to Md so she said since she was getting a divorce from her man. We were suppose to meet when supposedly some guy took her phone claiming to be her man. I dissapeared. She did not know why. We caught up a few years later and she blamed me for running away when she lied to me about her situation. We slowly madeup and started talking more. We were suppose to meet up again but my work got in the way.

She bounced from MD to TX to California. And back to Md. Truth be told, I didnt know where she was half the time or even if she was in those places. She told me once that she had sex with a traveling salesman. I later learned that was a lie. Through this all I stood by her. Her father died and I did everything I could to help her but she turned me away. I sent her a promise ring and her response to me was "I need to ask my therapist". For 7 years she and I been trying, and with my work and all, I stood by her but she didnt stand by me. 

She recently blocked me because she said it was better and she did not love me anymore. I never cried or was sad when my ex fiancee cheated on me or left me but she she said that to me I have not stopped crying since. I had may misteps in my life. and I am not much of a person who likes to be behind the wheel or to sit on an airplane or train or bus. I am at a loss for words and I just dont know what to do. 

I knew she never loved me..