Pimptation's blog: "Random Musings and Filth!!!"

So ladies, I’m curious about something........ And it’s in times like these that I wish there was a Cherry Tap Chat Room for subjects like this.....so I wouldn’t have to expose my ignorance — I could just lurk on that biotch and learn all I wanted. Alas, no such luck. As a result........ I’m finna get nyggerish — I mean, according to the dictionary, that’s synonmous for ignorance, right?? Well then, I’m about to get indignant with my ig’nant. So, like, I’ve had numerous discussions with dudes over the course of my life....... And in the course of those discussions, the subject of women and “relations” have come up a whole freakin bunch........One common theme in nearly all of these discussions is how dude just blew the woman’s mind.......... How he knocked it out the box......How he stood up in it..... How he rocked the casbah and whatnot. Now, I may be a fool....... but I’m no dummy........... I KNOW these dudes are exaggerating…..... I mean, I admit to having embellished a response or two.........(shuddup Natalie) It’s a by-product of having testicles......... In other words, it ain’t my fault… I can’t help it… it’s biological........You don’t like it? Blame God...... One of my best friends is a premier stroke embellisher......... I love to hear his stories about how he is the self-professed “Azz Master.” LOL..........According to him, every woman he has ever been with says, “you’re the best ever” or “It’s just… so… so big!”.......And ya know, maybe some have actually said this......but I’m wise enough to know that women tell men what they want to hear a lot of times to keep us from continuing to ask questions like, “Is mine the biggest ever? / Am I the best ever?” Plus, it doesn’t help that I’m the biggest doubter of the female orgasm that’s probably ever existed........ I take damn near every compliment as a “Yeah, you supposed to say that shyt.”...... LOL For all my braggadocio....... I’m the most confident pessimist you’ll ever meet........I mean, of course it can be obvious if she enjoyed herself....... but women are the best fakers of orgasm the world has ever seen....... You know why? Because they get so much practice!!...... A man attuned to his woman can tell when she’s faking it or not.....but if it’s the initial sessions or infrequent engagements?..... Dude, there is ample room for doubt. “You came?? Right. Sure ya did. If you say so.” LOL Pray for me. But having only been on one side of the conversation for my whole life.......I’m curious to know if women sit around and talk about how they got dude “puzzy-whipped”...... or how they rocked his world with the reverse cowgirl????.......(LOL@ Angela) Does this shyt happen???........ I mean, I know women sit around and complain about how the nygga won’t help with the dishes or the laundry or doesn’t take her out anymore or give her compliments like he used to (or in my case.... before he got the azz.)....... But do women get together over cappuccinos and Panera bread and say shyt like, “Girl, I broke him OFF last night. Po’ thang’s toes were poppin and errrythang!..... Had him whimperin’ like a puppy!” ????? ....or squeal like a pig!!!! Now, I know women in committed, loving relationships probably don’t talk to anyone about how they do their husband/boyfriend..... Just like most men would never tell you how good the woman they love is… that’s just disrespectful. But just a booty call?....... Or the girl you just met that you already know there is no future with??......Some random Jumpoff????.......All Smashups are fair game to me....... Is it the same for women?? I guess bragging about your coochie-throwing skillz don’t carry as much weight in the estrogen circles as they do in the land of the hairy testicles huh??......... I’m willing to bet that it’s because of the general perception/reality that men are just happy to get some........At least thats true with me...... So who cares about skillz? (notice I said “general” because this is clearly not always the male approach).....just mine *takes a bow* So if ya’ll don’t brag about how sweet your sugar walls are — and I’m willing to bet ya’ll don’t since something about bragging about the size of your birth canal or the temperature of your cookies doesn’t sound like an accurate characterization of what women discuss when there are bytches at work that need to be complained about — what the hell kind of information do you exchange?? I know what it AIN’T..... I’ve heard from numerous reliable sources that women have learned throughout the years NOT to discuss how good their man is........ and how well he puts it down! When it comes to good dyck.......women gravitate to it like moons to Jupiter!......at least most of the Ho bags I know did....(damn Im tempted to call out some names)...... You braggin on the details of your man’s prowess is like sending your girls an e-vite to DyckFest ‘07 where your man is the MC and honored guest! With backstage passes, I might add. So what do ya’ll say??..... I know ya’ll give advice an’ shyt based on experience. Have a girl that wants to try anal?...... Ya’ll will pass on the real advice. Have a girl that’s thinking about fellatio and increasing her protein intake??...... You have all the advice in the world. But that shyt don’t count!! I just refuse to believe that there is no female equivalent to the bragging that men do!!....... In order for the yin to yang and the karma to chameleon......there has to be an equivalent! Hmmmm…. maybe I’m thinking about this wrong. Let’s see, coochie is to men what money is to women. I mean, a man’s natural inclination is to procreate… spread his seed. And a woman’s is security....... Makes sense, right?....... Kinda? In that case, the woman’s equivalent boast to the man’s “I broke her back” is actually quite similar… “I broke his bank.” Right? Right?!! Wrong? Help me understand ya’ll!