Monday when I had My horrible day I called my best friend Celine.We've been friends for 25 years. The two of us been through alot and Done alot in those years I don't discuss politics and religon.
Well the religon thing came up. let me say one thing i was born and raised Catholic. I no longer follow my faith but still consider my self Catholic because thats the religon I gave my child thats the religon I married in and that is the faith that will be listed when I die.
through the years I have learned about the other religons that make up this world. I even experienced being a born again christian but something about it didn't seem right to me. the same reasons that make me uneasy about my own religon I didn't feel comfortable with its teachings, their interpretations of the bible. The born agains literately told me i had to give up all my beliefs that were doctrined to me since i was very young that was all wrong and I had to accept Jesus and only jesus is worshiped because he died for me and his father this creator GOD was no longer important and all the saints and apostles were no longer important only the word of jesus but what gave me a pause that jesus never wrote a word but, words written and interpretated by those apostles so secondary to these preachers how do I know if I should trust my faith in these people I don't totally trust the teachings of the Catholic Church. so I explored and compared through the years different teachings never following any till I was sure of what I believed.
In recent years something became very clear to me. these words ASHES to ASHES Dust to DUST. Also relavations about Mary Magdeline,and my recent interest in Wicca and my connection to this earth , the water. You see my wish is when i die I want no service,no viewing no burial. I want to cremated the same day I die. My wishes are to spread my ashes in the ocean on the day of my birth. this is my wish to have no religous service to be said only words is to say goodbye. i believe my soul will live on. but my belief I am part of the earth.
this is my belief alittle of my Catholic I believe in god he lives within me and angels/spirts guide me. Nature both of the wicca and native american beliefs. I believe that like the moon and tides rule my body and women not men should guide and teach about what religon is about because we are the bearers of the life that goes on and are the teachers. Most will disagree but this is what I believe If you really really read most religons are Matriarchial, mother earth, Native american and celtic,wicca even in jewish law if the mother of a child is Jewish the child is to raised Jewish regardless of the fathers religon.
I've given this alot of thought and everytime I want to talk to God I go to a quiet contentplative place a beach, a wooded trail and discuss what i want talk to God about and my prayers there i find these places my church, my temple the places I find my peace and all my answers to life in the wind rain sun stars and clouds but mostly I find it within my heart and myself. sometimes i get little subtle signs that they were listened too or i will find the answers in the most little ways presented to me.
I was told many years ago to believe that God exists you have to believe you exist. I believe in MYSELF and only I chose in what I and only I believe.
this is what I need to say to my friend I love her very much but to impose what she believes on to me is wrong she means well but is still wrong to try to convert me into something i will never hold true only to make her like me or to accept me is wrong i fear this will divide us I hope she understands. So, my prayers are for her to understand and to accept this difference.
