The other night I cried so hard it actually physically hurt. Why? Because now that he is leaving and I only see my son half time, I will be alone. I'm not afraid of that, just very disappointed and disillusioned. I feel like a failure - I can't seem to make this marriage thing work. Now I have to get used to being by myself and the worst part is figuring out what to do with myself. The night I got the separation papers I cleaned the whole entire house because I was so upset. There's only so much cleaning a person can do.