Well, the clowns won't REALLY eat me, but I feel like something bad will happen if I go back to my empty bed right now. My body hurts, I'm tired, I just want to hibernate, but every time I lie down I start thinking and that's bad.
I want so badly to just fast forward the next few months to get through all the pain and healing. I want to feel whole again. I want to be able to go through my day without thinking things that will bring tears to my eyes. I have so much anger, grief, shame and sadness inside me right now, and they've all become some strange, toxic cocktail.
I'm just so tired of it all!
I am so quick to see the good in others, so eager to give them the benefit of the doubt, that I wind up opening myself up to worlds of hurt. Why does the right thing to do feel so terrible?
I have to be up for work in a few hours. I'm so tired. I guess I should try sleeping again, huh.
