Ok, so right now, things are going right along as planned. except the minor mishap with my stepdad's car, things are good. Its odd. lol For many reasons. Things like this never work out for me, and they are. I am actually moving, I am actually escaping this place, I am actually truely starting over. And I couldnt be more excited and scared shitless than I ever have been in my whole life. The one and only thing that is worrying me the most, is my grandparents. They are my life, especially my granma. She is my best friend, and shes dying. They both are. And I feel horrible for leaving before whatever happens next, but I realized that I cant put my life on hold for anyone anymore. Thats all I've ever done. I was going to stay here because my mom wanted me to stay so she can still get the child support, and make sure I'm safe and sound. Which is exactly what every mother wants, right? I understand that part, I mean, the safe and sound and not getting into trouble, but you shouldnt use your kids as leverage on your morgage payments. And, begging me to stay here so I can take care of my brother and the house and her when she needs it, (which lately has been almost all of the time), isnt going to make me stay. Nothing is going to make me stay here any longer than needed. If I was to stay here, Id end up on the streets, and throwing my life away like I have been for the past 3 years.
But I wont do that anymore. Im starting a brand new, shit free, independent life for myself. No one to tell me what I can and can not do, no one to tell me that im selfish, lazy, stupid, disrespectful, ignorant, irresponsible, rude, vicious, and everythings my fault. This is my life, I am not a horrible person, I deserve so much more than what I am getting now, and for the first time ever, I deserve to be happy, and be my own person.
This is the most amazing feeling in the world right now. ( besides being in love. <3)
Alabama, here I come.
