Sadism
Your hands
ripping
out
my heart
Your wicked smile
as you eat it
Darkness
Dark
Dark
Relentless
passion
upon
my
face
Your
words
an
Evil
echo against
pale tattooed skin
Crimson
i let
For You
The Baptism////////
Dripping sticky down the
small of my back
the nectar of my skin beads
i am seven shades of
crimson
my eyes at half mast
i am under You
my Savior
Your thrusts are deliberate
and my eager hips reckless
the candlelight flickering
against mirrors
glinting
cascading off the promise
You placed against
my throat
Your stigmata
my body whispers
screams
entices Yours
my lips speaking in a tongue
only my God
can interpret
Love and contempt
and
freedom
and violence
and beauty all
take refuge here
my hands clutch the
kitchen counter top,
Your arm sweeping the coffee pot,
jars of flour,
sugar
and
lust onto the tile floor
beneath You i am decadent
Your breath a hot sweet
coax against my shoulder
my nape
my soul
"My precious whore"
You assure me
vibrating and trilling
into places of exodus
my hearing won't reach
"mine, mine, mine MINE!"
Your voice
ripping the orgasm from
between my
silky thighs into Your
fist
sobbing.
choking.
gasping and begging for
breath
as You spin me around and
cradle me
my cunt tight and holding
Your wrist hostage
while i pulse and twitch and
write new Psalms
"Come back to Me" is lulling me
guiding me through
Your heartbeats
from some far away church
Cloister bells ring
out the dawn of a
new day under my King
You return to Your pulpit...
i am Baptized
in service
In these moments
of dark
i come to You
my God
my Eternity
You breathe life into
my soul
No more emptiness
Your hands
an urgent push against
my flesh
my heart
Bound... in tune
in harmony with
the sound of Your voice
This boy
so hungry for Your
heart
i want to eat it
make it's taste known
to the world
i see You..
a Savior of all things
of creation
All things above this
hell You have let
me be a part of
i fucking crave You
Act I
I blink
open
another drop of my lids
only to glimpse the velvet curtain's billowing
center parting like the salty oceans
of crimson streaming down my thighs
Tender caresses
attack and remind my sweat stained fever that
i am no longer running this production
Your control, my lovely desperation
threatens to devour
your
un-
rehearsed
script
Act II
Tension in my calves shoot flame
A subtle upbeat within my fear tangled
heart betrays my paralysis
The foundation of my non-chalant stage crumbling
beneath the dripping lights
"Have you forgotten your lines ,faggot..hrrm?"
Your teeth against my lobe
gnashing the question
my answer
as stuffed as the vicious hole of my mouth
Act III
I felt your breath
heated moist danger
The nape of my neck your megaphone
My skin an audience to delicious incantations
ancient tongues
quickly whispered warnings of your desire
"Your mind is beautiful when broken,boi.. Ripped and shattered like my will to leave you on this set
like the worthless fuck you are
aren't
and always never have been."
The Finale
The applause deafening
A silence so loud
pounding the reason from my twisted
diseased veins
Rotten flowers thrown at our feet
the props from my swollen wrists dismantled
You circle your arms securely about my waist
the ovation a distant roar
I sense your smile its depth against my cheek
"Take a bow, cunt. They think your brilliant."
Waiting
I only write about butterflies
if we are pulling off their wings
Damaged and freckled
and
dust covered fingers that
aren't so delicate anymore
Humming slowly about Jack & Diane
my heart in
wingless beatless flight
Congealed in another time
between your filthy
loveless palms
I wait
Sick
Make me sick
I want you to hole up inside
this sicksweet disease and
rest your tender cheek right here,
against my chest
There is no ailment as
beautiful as you,
the thread of silk that webs my soul and attracts
nothing but a dream
Wide hurtful smiles
And
Eyes so sparkling I look mad
but fuck it makes me free
and isn't that what love is?
My arms stay as empty as the promises
that pile to just steady my feet and run crashing into you
Underneath i know
It's really o.k to love you the way I do
when you have deserved it and begged for it
without asking outloud
Intention is just that
and
no bandages or healing
beyond what you already give me are necessary
Fuck. yeah. <3
My Own
Too Many Moons
Have swept the sky clean since
I last heard your thunder
and I
ache for it like the world aches
for tender annihilation
of it's gifts
To feel your disease
plunging glass into these
cracked eyes
My open sky mouth
faulty with the taste
of destiny, curable tears
When I say your absence
is mummifying me
I am perfect
in those bandages that wrap
these words into transplants
that stitches can't
begin to maintain
What a heart i have!
Tocking and ticking
through blast after blast
the gleaming
of the barrel almost weeping
wedged tenderly to my chest
Its been to many moons
Since I vowed this abstract sunrise
the fear
it so fiercely deserves
There is no place like home
and without you behind the trigger
there is just no place
Reborne
I mourned the death of your words
for months
days
hours and minutes, and fuck
where the fuck are you?
Am i dead too?
i must be
no air
I was...
The bloodstained curtains
from our
transplant had closed
The edges of my soul wrapped in a
bandage of daydreams, notepads,
envelopes and napkins
i expected nothing and got
just
that
My nightstand your coffin
my heart yours still
Did you hear me at the cemetary?
Singing happy birthday in a low eerie
key that kept cracking
and breaking the clouds
I kept lifting the lid painful as it was
I willed the words to shift and bendto re-create just one more
time
I cursed your epitaphnot cause you left me wondering
just cause you fucking left
The clock so fucking dustythat I lost track of timeand now im late
Shaken, taken,the piece of methat is you a filthygift who's dirt i adoredThe bones polished and deliberateunlike you
and,
so not me
Your resurrection comes closeas the needle that sweetened my skin
with it's inkand your art and memories of the wayyou let me just fucking
love you
It's pouring now
my stay of executionoffering me everything and nothing
i rip you from your tomband cry for us
losing all quills and feathersof my crumbling words
i cross out the misused verbsof an obituary that plaguedand tried to destroy me
My hand moves
with angst and purpose
i fearlessly write:
i rejoiced the birth of your words.......
Faeded
I see this picture of you
at least I thought it was you
but it's not
I touch the printout I made and get
nothing
Dark, dark covered with illusion
black smeared
charcoal
I slide my finger over your arm,
reach surface
Do you still feel like yourself?
Like the bloom of an orchid
in purples and blues
your hues captivating
Did the sun set on your garden of truth's and reveries
and mock you
as the rush of night stole my words?
I compare them to Winter
though I am thawing out, the cold
is encompassing
stark
The dew has shifted but the flower of the sun is a warrior
and She fights
for the heat of the garden
we grew
You say "bare with me" with such an
idealistic heave
and the picture gets light
transparent in the drops
of my tears splash
oh, it is you
breathtaking and
abstract, my gift
my prince
Soldiers
From a
black rain we
surface
War torn tattooed wings
drawing you
tenderly beneath
the intimacy of purple hearted
sighs
Apologies
whispered in hot battered breath
Swollen
heart beats
above silent
mouths that darken corners of
this
intricate love
I shake my feathers and hold
you so
fucking
close
Neverminding the napalm taste
of your
wounded kiss