What brought this on, I do not know.
But these painful memories are my foe.
One after another I relive them clear as day.
Wanting nothing more than for them to go away.
Lifes twists and turns aren't always easily tackled.
Seems like everyday is an uphill battle.
Just one day with no horrifying thoughts
is all I ask for, all I want.
Don't know how much more of this I can take.
There's nothing worse than being raped.
Once it's over you hurt but your numb.
And all you keep asking is "What have I done?".
I know it's not my fault but somehow it must be.
Why else would they have done this to me?
I thought I could put it in the past.
But I didn't realize how long the memories would last.
Wouldn't be so bad if the images would fade.
But it just doesn't seem to work that way.
They're just as vivid as the actual event.
How do I keep from coming unbent?
Would love to be able to forget,
if only for a little bit.
Reliving this day after day after day,
is killing me in the worst way.