Christmas is a happy time, a time for family. In my family it’s a mix feeling time of year. I try not to think of it much because it’s a downer for sure.
Christmas eve was the ninth anniversary of my father passing. Wow almost ten years ago a whole decade.
Even tho it’s been that long, I still remember that Christmas eve. Living here in Kansas, I was calling NYC and wishing my family a merry Christmas. Dad been battling throat cancer. And was doing well. I called and I first talked with my mom, she told me how festive everyone was and that she had a good talk with my dad. Talked about the good and the bad about their relationship. Cleared a lot of air. Before having dinner that night he took a nap. So there I was talking to her as she tells me this and I got to talk with the rest of the family. I had a good conversation with my sister and my grandmother, and once again with my mom. Then she asked if I wanted to talk to him, I said sure and she tried to wake him form his nap. No reaction, She told me that she needed to hang up and call 911.
The next day (Christmas day) I got a called that he passed away. So I just packed a few things and drove to NYC for a funeral.
Ever since then Christmas hasn’t been that happy of an event for my family even tho I try real hard to be cheerful with my family but he loom largely over my family (mostly my mom for good reason). .
Well I got that off my chest, feel better to letting that out a bit. I just know that it’s going to be hard from my mom next year.