>>Mr. and Mrs. Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with
>>
>>her to Wal-Mart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get
>>
>>in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to
>>
>>her from the store.
>>
>>
>>
>>Dear Mrs. Fenton,
>>
>>Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
>>
>>commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban
>>
>>both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our
>>
>>video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are
>>
>>listed below.
>>
>>Thin gs Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in
>>
>>Wal-Mart:
>>
>>1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
>>
>>carts when they weren't looking.
>>
>>2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at
>>
>>5-minute intervals.
>>
>>3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
>>
>>restrooms.
>>
>>4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
>>
>>"Code 3" in house wares... and watched what happened.
>>
>>5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on
>>
>>layaway.
>>
>>6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
>>
>>7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
>>
&g t;>shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
>>
>>department.
>>
>>8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry
>>
>>and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
>>
>>9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
>>
>>and picked his nose.
>>
>>10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the
>>
>>clerk if he knows where to find the antidepressants.
>>
>>11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
>>
>>"Mission Impossible" theme.
>>
>>12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using
>>
>>different size funnels.
>>
>>13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
>>
>>yelled "PICK ME! " "PICK ME!"
>>
>>14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes
>>
>>the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
>>
>>And last, but not least ....
>>
>>15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door waited awhile, then
>>
>>yelled very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
