A Glimpse Into The Mind of This Mad Woman
I do not understand what the big deal is about dating. I dont understand the herd mentality that everyone should be paired up. I dont understand why people try to hook me up with people I could never be attracted to. It happens all the time. They act like I should be flattered that the person in question is infatuated with me. I dont date by choice. No one seems to get that. I am superficial but very down to earth. Im shallow while at the same time, incredibly deep. Im vain, but not pretty enough to carry it. With me, attraction is immediate or not at all. I dont force myself to feel things that arent real because I really hate to lie to myself. I am not really attracted to anyone right now. I dont feel any burning desire to go out and find someone new, especially when I have so many unfinished relationships haunting me. I miss the ones who used to be here, no matter how briefly. No matter how incomplete the quick fix was, at the time, it was enough. While it lasted, I was happy. So tell me why I should want to get out there and date your friends. I do not see the point of dating. Nothing lasts. Not in this world or any other. Some might say that I am too young to be this jaded. They would be right if I were any other girl, but Im not. Im me. If only I hadnt seen, felt, done, lived through and been told certain things Im scarred and bruised. Im lonely and incomplete, but its okay. After all, I am standing here still. I live, I breathe, I feel, I can hold my head high, and I can face myself in every new day to come. Thats enough for me. I do not want to date. I do not want to make friends with guys who want more from me than I am willing to give. Im lost, hurt, and yes, I admit that I am lonely, but Ive lived this way long enough to know that it will not kill me. Getting involved with the wrong guy just might.
