Dear Abby,
I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV AIDS virus. My parents live in Fort Worth. One of my sisters lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas.
I have two brothers: one is currently serving a life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three young teenage daughters. I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview. She is still a part time 'working girl.'
All things considered, my problem is this: I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family. BUT, I want to be totally open and honest with her.
Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Barack Obama for President?
Signed,
Worried About My Reputation