I decided last night that if my most current flirtation is not all that it seems, I didn't care. I didn't want to know the reality of it. All I cared about was the fantasy of it. If he decided he had no feelings for me whatsoever, I would rather he just disappear than try to crush me on the way out. Now I start seeing things that test that and I doubt my resolution. Part of me really does want to stick to it. But can I?
