A good friend of mine sent me this....OK....Now the ladies need to go ahead and read up...Fella's you better hope you are not INTERNET DICK!
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DICKOLOGY 101
MISERABLE DICK - When the guy is extremely handsome. He says the
right things, does the right things. When it comes to sex, he is
lacking in this department. He sucks your tits too hard, kisses your
mouth too long, stays around your neck forever, fingers you like a
GYN Doctor, licks your pussy like he was in a track meet and has a
very small dick. You try to give him some head and only find that
you are actually sucking a pacifier. This is so miserable. You
think, "how can a guy so fine, so polite have weak game?" To top
everything off ladies, how about just when in your mind your going
to try to get the best out of this even if you have to make yourself
cum and he beats you to the punch. DAMN, I cannot believe he came
in 3 minutes!!!
TOLERABLE DICK - This is funny dick. He eats major pussy. He eats it
so good, your knees feel a little weak. It was good enough to make
you shed a tear. Then he puts his dick in, for you to realize that
you cannot really feel it!! His stroke is irregular and non-
rhythmic. You work with it by riding out on it as if you were in a Wild Wild
West Movie. You hold your pelvic real tight and try to visualize the
last big dick you had to get your mind off this less than filling
dick. It's funny because in the man's mind he'll say, that we just
have big pussy's from having too much sex and that is why we cannot
feel him. Only for them to forget that the pussy is a muscle that
accommodates the size of the penis. If she has had children already
it will only shrink so much.
INTERNET DICK - Well, how would we define this type of dick? You
see, online they talk a damn good game.You meet and you fuck. The
catch is you had an orgasm online, over the phone and a fake orgasm
in person. But, there are some Internet dicks that are exceptions to
this definition. Bottom line____________, HE COULD NOT MAKE YOU CUM!!
OVERWHELMED DICK - I believe this dick ladies we all can testify to.
Like, Whoa! This is the type of dick you misjudged. You saw some
signs of weakness in this man. He always caters to you and really
does not discuss what he can do in bed with you. When kissing him,
you notice you make his knees weak. You hold out on giving him some
and tease him. You know what size dick he has because you have
either A: given him some mean-ass head. Or B: Stroked it while he was
wearing pants or boxers. So, you thought in your mind, "I am going to pussy
feed and whip him." Only to find he laid the "SMACK DOWN" on your pussy. He
had you in a figure eight. You were so overwhelmed that you could not
even speak. Your whole pre-calculated fuck was down the drain. He
had more game than you. He was like an energizer bunny that kept going
and going. You could not even hang. Now you look at him in a
different light.
PUNISHABLE DICK - This is the dick that pisses me off the most. You
see, the guy you're sleeping with punishes your pussy. If he had a
bad or good day at work, "he punishes your pussy." If he had a good
or bad meal, "he punishes your pussy." If he's pissed off at
you, "he punishes your pussy." No matter what, "he punishes your
pussy." It is easy to tell if the guy your with falls into this
category. He always uses phrases like these when he is fucking
you: "DON'T RUN FROM THIS DICK", "AIN'T THIS SOME GOOD DICK, "TELL ME
YOU LIKE THIS DICK," "WHAT IS MY NAME," "WHOSE PUSSY THIS BELONGS
TO," "I DON'T HEAR YOU TALK! ING SHIT NOW" and finally, "YOU LIKE WHEN
DADDY GETS THISPUSSY AND WHIPS IT!"! While all this is being said, he is
literally smacking your ass, fucking your walls sore, sweat is dripping like
it was raining and he acts like he is in a fight.
GUILTY DICK - Ladies who have cheated on their man temporarily can
say, "AMEN" to this type of dick. Ladies, this is the type of dick
that makes you cry and confess to your man you fucked someone else.
The guilty dick made you want to tell everybody. Guilty dick is in a
class of it's on. Guilty dick make you look and feel different about
the dick you got at home. Guilty dick made you have multiple
orgasms. Made you cry and you had no clue to why. This dick is so intense,
when it is being administered it sent you in a trance. He has a slow
long stroke, sweats on you, asks you if you're comfortable about six
times, you started at 6 PM and it is now going on 9PM and he is not
tired and has not cum! yet. He licks on your pussy as if he was a
baby cat licking warm milk, he savors it like you're the main course meal,
he smells it like fine wine and does not rush from the spot, he flips you over
and begins licking your pussy from the back and your ass at the same time. He
takes his fingers and inserts them in your pussy and looks at you, offers you
a taste and begins sucking the ice/cum off of his fingers. By now you're
in shock and forgot all about your man. You act as if you want him to stop,
but the pussy is screaming for more. He has at least two inches more than
your man. Guilty dick makes you think in your mind for a split second,
Oh Baby! I am sorry." Guilty dick in the end you try to avoid. When you're
back with your man, you're wondering why he cannot perform like guilty dick.
You even have the nerve to get mad and then instruct him to do what guilty
dick did to you.
PLEASURABLE DICK - This is good convenient dick. Easy dick. Dick you
can call when your body needs a fix. You might as well call it "SPLAKEVELLIE."
He gives you major head like GUILTY DICK and fucks you like GUILTY DICK.
Only thing is, you do not have a man, so you're not feeling guilty. Whenever
you call the dick is ready. His dick craves your pussy. This dick is available anytime,
anyplace.
GAWD DAMN DICK! - Ladies, now this is dick that will definitely send you to
hell if your not married to it. This dick is just like PLEASURABLE and GUILTY DICK.
His dick is any where from 8 to 11inches long and the circumference of a half
dollar. This dick makes you numb, cry and pray all at the same time. While he
is getting it doggy style you look towards the heavens and say, "GOD DAMN
THIS IS SOME GOOD DICK!"!
CAP'N DICK - This is the gold mine dick. This dick is the dick that you commit
yourself too. You do not cheat on it and you keep it a well kept secret. In fact,
you constantly crave and feign for this dick. When you get this dick, you go through
covulsions. This is the dick that makes you EVERREADY. You call in sick from work
for it. GOSH!!! This dick is so major it is OVERWHELMED DICK, PEASURABLE DICK,
GUILTY DICK, and GOD DAMN DICK all in one. This is the dick that you want to put
insurance on, just in case anything should happen to it. This dick makes you stutter
while speaking and have you nervous for no reason.
If you dont know NOW YOU KNOW.
Dickology 101