SIXPACK's blog: "Donkey Punch 101"

The Donkey Punch is like the Highlander. There can be only one. Prepare to be educated. The Donkey Punch is a sexual move like the missionary position or the threesome; and like most sexual moves, you can actually do it. Here’s a list of things that the Donkey Punch is not is. The Donkey Punch is not jizzing on a girl’s face and then punching her in the mouth. That’s called assault and battery and it will send you straight to prison. It will also fuck up a girl’s face. Unless you’re the type of person who shits in mailboxes, fucking up a woman’s face on purpose is a major loss of Man Points. That’s like taking candy from a baby. It’s all they have. The Donkey Punch is not hitting a girl in the head while you’re boning her. Punching a woman in the head does nothing for your physical pleasure and might break your hand. It’s called a “boxer’s break”, and if you’re not a former boxer, let me tell you something about breaking your fist on someone’s head. It’s a loss of Man Points. The Man Points are doubled if that head belonged to a woman. Breaking your hand on a head: -500 Man Points …on a woman’s head: -1,000 Man Points …while you’re nailing her: -10,000 Man Points If you want to risk your Man Points, then that’s up to you. The Donkey Punch is not striking a woman at the base of her neck during orgasm. Women are like pinball machines. You put money in, you don’t get anything but a good time, and if you smack them around too much, it’s game over. A restraining order is the Tilt of life. Smack it hard enough and you’ll break the machine. Then no one has any more fun. What the Donkey Punch is, is a punch delivered to a woman’s ass during intercourse. That’s it. Try it yourself and you’ll know why they call it a Donkey Punch. If you disagree, why not invent a sexual move that involves a woman jumping off a roof and landing on your cock. Call it the Stupid Jackass.