I need to purge this outta my head so I can hopefully relax once I get the kids. This day was such a fucking emotional roller coaster I could hurl. Literally. Started out WAY too early, got the kids ready and off to day care, then came home to get myself ready. Coffe, shower, trying to put on panty hose I ripped a huge hole in the knee. Much swearing until I realize that I have some nude back seam stockings...sexiness, yay!. Finish getting ready and realize I'm leaving about 10 minutes later than I had hoped. No biggie. I can make up the time on the highway.
Flashing lights thought otherwise. Very sweet officer, introduced himself. Asked me where I was going, where I was coming from, whether I had an appointment. When I very honestly said it was for a job, he handed my stuff back to me and told me to be careful. That started the first crying jag of the day.
Went to the job thing (door to door life insurance, not likely, but positive enthusiastic people are good to have around), opted to head just a little further north and inquire about the culinary school I had once considered attending. By the time I left 90 minutes later, I had re-applied, been approved and been fitted for my chef's uniform. If the financial aid goes through (and I can find someone to help with the kids) I start 2/16. That's right. Next Monday. Oh. My. God.
On my way out of the building, I got a call cancelling my interview with the DA's office here in town. I had really been hoping to get that job, so it was disappointing, but felt like a sign from God.
Now I'm sitting here realizing that it would be so nice to have a shoulder to rest my head on tonight. Someone to pet my hair so I can calm down. Crying jag number two. I actually cried the whole way home from Austin. Fuck I'm sick of doing this alone. Of having news and no one to share it with. Of having to worry about which of my friends I'm going to impose on to pick up my kids so I can achieve my goals.
I apologize to whomever reads that long winded tirade, but thanks for taking the time. Have a great weekend!
:-*
