So my family and I learned today that my Wuelo will be having his knee replacement surgery on april 7th. Im scared shitless. Im scared to have to sit in a waiting room all day knowing that hes having surgery. Granted its not really a life threatning surgery but after the ordeal that my family and I have deal with lately hospital waiting rooms are not my cup of tea.
I keep thinking of the negatives and I know I have to stop but I cant. After losing my wuela I have to face reality. They are not gonna be here forever, as much as I want them too. My wuelo just turned 77 and he is my life. Hes also tired and I can see it on his face. It scares me to see that.
That man is my life...to me he can never do no wrong. To be honest, he has been there for me way more than my dad was especially when I was younger. My dad is my knight and shining armor now and he would bend over backwards for me and I love him with all my heart so dont get me wrong but my wuelo has been my life for as long as i can remember.
I dunno...my emotions lately are just all over the place...and all I have been doing is smiling and showing everyone im ok. But im pissed off at alot of things and im hurt and im afraid. And I feel as if I am at a breaking point.....If I could find it in myself, I would pack a bag and run away and not tell anyone where im at...But I cant cause i Love my family to much to leave them like that.....But I need to take a chance and make this about me and only me. I need to stop worrying about everyone else and putting myself last.
See what I mean...Im all over the place....this blog was supposed to be about my wuelo and im wriitng about everything else...Im so fucking screwed up its sad. And I dont know what to do anymore...ignoring the situation or running away from it is not gonna help me....I just have to face it head on...Im scared shitless but its the only way.
Im tired of talking to dumb assholes who think just cause I have a pussy that Im gonna give some up to them....Is it such a horrible thing that I wanna be loved and love someone who is the right guy for me? Is it wrong that I wanna be happy in a relationship for a while???? Im tired of these guys and their "games" its fucking old...I deserve better and I know I will find it....
My family....well I can never exchange them for another and I can never lose them cause they are family. No matter how much they piss me off or break my heart I still love them. They have never turned their backs on me nd I am forever greatful for that. I only have one family and yes we all may not be perfect but I wouldnt exchange them for anyone else in this world...
yeah...think I’ve ranted enough?? lol probably.....thats life right....we deal with what we got dealt...its just up to us to make it better
