I have been contemplating letting of of fear and living in the moment. This past April I traveled alone across the United States, through the Yukon and into Alaska in a brand new company van and believed that I had conquered alot of my fears. I traveled across icy mountain passes in a snow storm. My body was so tense I thought it would crack into pieces, my hands turning white, tightly gripping the steering wheel. I am a southeast Texas girl that is totally unfamiliar with snow and ice and I have a huge fear of heights, especially mountain roads with life threatening cliffs to slide off of!
I literally kissed the ground when I safely arrived at the bottom of that mountain and believed I could do anything after making it through that!
But the holidays have brought on a new set of fears. I lost both my mom and dad in the last couple of years and so I have very little family left. Christmas activities really bring up all the wonderful memories of holidays past, but they also bring up the feelings of being alone and being afraid of never having that sense of family again. That is a whole different kind of fear and one that is not as easily conquered as driving through a snow storm. I am working on learning to live in the moment, enjoying all the Christmas lights and of course the Christmas eggnog helps!
As do all of my really good friends. Remembering that there are lots of other people out there who are a lot less fortunate than me and have much bigger fears to face, like hunger and violence, also helps me put my situation in prospective. Maybe thats the key to overcoming this kind of fear. Focusing on helping others and turning their tears into smiles might have the same effect on me as kissing the ground at the bottom of the mountain...relief, joy, and remembering that it is the journey, not the destination that is important.
