No doubt some of you read a recent news story --- researchers at Indiana University-Bloomington did a study using a group of men and women in Munich, Germany, examining how the sexes differ in choosing a mate by characteristics. What a shock, perhaps for most folks. The study concluded that humans are not much different from other mammals by following Darwin’s principles involving competitive males and choosy females.
Essentially, according to this study (which used speed dating and a questionnaire, by the way), the men primarily based their decision on a woman’s physical looks. Women made more discriminating choices; they acknowledged the importance of attractiveness to men, but mentally used other traits and adjusted their expectations to select a desirable guy who’d stay with them. In any event, both the men and women’s actual choices did not necessarily reflect their written preferences.
The story makes me recall those casual previous conversations I’ve had with friends – male and female – about what guys and girls really want in each other. To be sure, physical attractiveness is an overriding criterion that can’t be ignored. It’s natural for an attractive individual to catch another’s eye. I admit most guys tend to focus on a woman’s attractive while taking for granted so many other qualities she offers. Of course, none of this is real news. Duh! Didn't need a so-called scientific study to prove what we've known for generations.
Ah yes, those other qualities. Ya know, such as a sense of humor, brains, kindness, generosity (meaning more about time, sharing, etc.), mutual hobbies and interests, honesty, determination. It may seem puzzling, amusing, perhaps frustrating that men and women say they want one thing in a partner, but eventually end up with something else. Ultimately, in my mind, best intentions and a straight-forwardness count just as much.
Initial attractiveness is a start. But aptitude, virtue, a biting wit (sarcasm is so underrated and misunderstood =), sincerity, open-mindedness, warmth, curiosity, maturity and a spirit of merriment always have meant more to me - unless the Science Channel, Family Guy, BBC News or the game is on. Any of that means mountains more at that precise moment :-p Anyhow, just speaking for the Y-chromosome lot, not all of us boys are the same.
