Well ladies, Valentine's Day is coming. I'm sure you all know that. I get really tired of hearing women whine over what they're going to get for Valentine's Day. Why do you think it's all about you? I'm here to burst your bubble...it isn't. It's about sex.
Listen, the whole idea of going out to a romantic dinner [choke] and getting stale chocolates is for one reason and one reason only. It's a down payment on the after-romance bullshit. Yes, it's about what you're going to give to him after he's convinced you that he's spent all this time and money on you. ie: PUSSY.
So, instead of you getting your panties in a wad and getting mad about it, go with the flow sisters. [Beat him to the punch] Besides, do you really need to go to a restaurant where you'll wait a fucking hour, then eat something that's probably going to make your ass bigger? Hell no! And the chocolates! Please baby, you can open a box of ding-dongs and get your chocolate fix. I'm talking not only pleasing your man, but pleasing yourself as well. Valentine's Day is an overrated, bullshit holiday that Hallmark Cards, chocolate makers and fancy restaurants have brainwashed you into believing will invigorate your romance.
HOT SEX WILL INVIGORATE YOUR ROMANCE!!
First of all, ask yourself this. What do all men want? What do they beg for?
BLOW-JOBS!!
Whatever method he likes, whether he likes to stand, sit, etc., let him do it and go to town. Don't forget to use eye contact and if your lips aren't around him, they should be stroking him up and down. Giving a blow-job is an artform. Learn to do it and do it right. If you can't put it all in, don't worry about it. The technique you use should be enough. You have to make him believe that at that moment, you crave nothing else but his big, hard cock. Convince him of that and he'll be putty in your hands.
Next comes the dilemma of whether to swallow or not. Baby, you don't have to swallow if you don't want to. Again, there are other things you can do that will be just as sexy as swallowing. You can let him cum on your breasts. You can let him be "sloppy" and well, sling it around. Whatever floats his boat. Use your imagination. Spontaneous sex is a sacrament.
FUN WITH FOOD...SCRUMPTIOUS!!
Instead of getting a box of stale chocolates, try using it as appetizer, or ummmm, using him as the appetizer. Drizzle chocolate all over him and add some whip cream and then have a long, lick-a-thon. He'll be your personal sundae. I, myself can't think of anything more yummy than a man covered in chocolate and whip cream. Oh yeah...don't forget the cherry. Do I really have to tell you where to put it??
MENAGE A TROIS
If you're one of the lucky ones and have a man who isn't homophobic, you just may be able to pull this off. Just think ladies....2 cocks at once. Seriously, how could any woman turn this down. Hell, I don't even know where to begin on this one....2 birds in the bush is worth every fucking orgasm you can get!
THINK NAUGHTY, PLAY NAUGHTY
Yes I realize that all the emphasis is on what you will do to your man. But I want you to think really hard about that....If you're giving him this kind of pleasure, you will surely get it in return. If you don't, shoot the motherfucker and bury him in your backyard.
As Sexilicious once said...
She who giveth great blow-jobs and fantastic sex controleth the cock.
