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QueenCryBaby's blog: "love"

created on 09/03/2007  |  http://fubar.com/love/b123788

holder of my heart?

im sure everyone has the 1 ex or even the 1 person in life that for some reason is hard to get over no matter what you try to do. through the new partners, jobs, children, etc that 1 certain person stays on their mind and in their heart. anyway today i was at my dads and got bored so i went into my old bedroom and figured id rumage through the closet to see what i left behind, i ran across a paper bag opened it and was shocked to find i kept stuff my ex fiance gave me and such. i took a smaller white wedding bag out of the paper bag opened it to see what i kept, there was a teddy bear that still had his cologne sent on it, a shirt he always wore (that 1 shirt everyone has that no matter how old it is you keep it for whatever reason), the cell phone he gave me when i was just suppose to go back to my dads to pack up my stuff to move in with him permently, the game he got me when i was sick with mono, and some other tid bits, then i came across pictures we took the night before i left. i stupidly looked through all the pics, all the emotions i thought i got over came back. then came the running tears that dont stop due to the painful memory of the happy times and even worse the painful break up. i still thought of him every now and then and such, but the stupid crap i kept made it all come back. he was the 1 person i could say anything to, act any way infront of, and hed never hold it against me, the person who was able to comfort me with a simple hug and the i love you that sounded so heartfelt and real. ive dated since him considering it was 2 yrs ago, even been engaged since, but idk... i wonder am i still in love with him and this is apassing fansy or is he going to be the 1 ill always secretly love? then again its probably a side effect due to all the damn cold and allergy medicine im on, damn those medicines lol
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