Tuere's blog: "Random Musings"

You are the first person I look for every day, it’s an automatic thing. When I hear your voice and you are happy with me, it warms me. When I know you want me, it makes me burn for you. When you are angry, it chills me, and I shrink back within myself. I look forward to spending anytime I can with you. And crave your touch. Even though you are far away I can feel you. There is a connection there. And then I think… Is it in my head? How much am I building this up, idealizing this. Can he truly care for me the way he says, or is it just something to keep me around? Horrible way to think, but then why would I doubt? Is it me? Am I not enough? And so I go round and round, happy to be in your company then desolate to be out of it. Elated to hear the warmth in your voice, and devastated by the silence. There are days I can’t get warm There are days I feel numb There are days I don’t want to get out of bed at all. I’ve been told by friends snap out of it, stop taking things so personal, you are codependent. Last one may be true…. How can I tell them what’s really happening if I really don’t know myself? I’m in love and as high as the happiness takes me, the lows plunge me deeper each time.