Funny how when you get dumped by a guy or you lose a best friend, you feel like you've lost something special...and silly shit that is because in the long run they are easily forgotten or replaced and life goes on. That kind of hurt is like a mosquito bite...it is annoying but doesnt last forever.
This kind of hurt is far beyond that. I know its not permanent but a year is a very long time to go without my baby girl. Those of you who are close to me know she is my center. My rock. My core. I know its bad to say, but she is my favorite child. On a totally different level of course as i love them both so much. My son and I arent co-conspirators. Its silly..but regardless I have to stay focused now and not let this sadness swallow me because he deserves a mom who laughs and smiles...and isn't stuck in a pity party. He's still away for the summer so I have a little time to work on masking my sadness. I know its what will make her happy in the short term. I know that a year seeems so long when you are 15 but I wont force her to be miserable so I can have what i want.
I will be moving back to colorado as soon as I have enough saved up which should be by the end of the next school year. Even though I know she will be going to college in a few years...I still need to be closer then 2000 miles at this point.
I still wont be extremely social so I apologize again.