As the anger mounts I feel myself slipping away
From the tight hands of reality I once lived in
Now it feels like a dream
to stand here and feel
Nothing but hate and bottled up anger in my soul
I used to scream and laugh yet now I don’t remember
The last time I took a chance and made myself go wild
I don’t remember yesterday and I don’t care about tomorrow
Today I am no different
just another lifeless soul-Indifferent
uncaring
As words meet white paper and anger is splashed aside
Hurt flows from the felt tip pen onto the pureness of what it once was
Remembering the days when there was a sunrise to watch
Now knowing it’s just the pouring rain and the gloominess for company
I want to shout
to hurt someone near and make them cry
Just like I do every night on my bed holding my heart together
Hoping it won’t shatter again
hoping I won’t feel again
These emotions so hard to let go of
so real
so raw
Can’t take this any more
I still hear the echoes of your voice
of our laughs that we shared
Maybe they would never be erased for they are too true
too real
I used to love myself
now I feel so used in this current of life
Knowing it’s just another illusion
a scattered dream of lost hope
Why were you taken away when there wasn’t anything bad in you
Why
I need to know
why can’t you ever come back
it’s not fair
You can’t have disappeared forever
and now I’m angry with Fate
Or whoever it was that took you away on that horrible night
I would never heal from the scar left behind in my broken heart
Never hear my true laughter ring within these walls of despair
For my anger is too painful for even me to take hold of
I can feel it spreading as words tumble from my mouth
I never meant them
just wanted to hurt someone I love
Because it feels nice to be hurt right back with a force so real
And I don’t know why there is a monster in me
I don’t know
And I am sorry for not trying to cope and letting the anger free
I am sorry for making you cry and I am sorry I failed you now
I am sorry but it won’t do any good
for the anger would stay
As long as the scar would stay
and that makes it a forever
