The time has come for me to explain something to alot of people and this is gonna be hard for me to do...Im putting my REAL self out here and I fully expect to be ridiculed and made fun of and/or dropped as a friend by alot of people...If thats the case, so be it...
Just recently I was diagnosed as having something called Bi-Polar Disorder...Otherwise known as Manic Depression...The definition of Bi-Polar Disorder is as follows:
"Bipolar disorder is a psychiatric condition defined by extreme, often inappropriate, and sometimes unpredictable moods. These moods can occur on a spectrum ranging from debilitating depression to unbridled mania. Individuals suffering a bipolar disorder generally experience fluid states of mania, hypomania or what is referred to as a mixed states in concert with clinical depression. These clinical states typically alternate with a normal range of mood, which is termed euthymia. Bipolar disorder can range in severity from a mild annoyance to a serious lifelong disability, and is often difficult to diagnose due to the complex nature of the disorder. It has been suggested that many individuals may go undiagnosed their entire lives."
What this basically means is I have a mental disease...No Im not crazy or schizo....Just means I have a chemical imbalance in my brain that causes this crap...Thanks to the crappy genes on my dads side of the family...
A friend earlier told me I was on a downward spiral and they are right...This ship is sinking fast and I dont know how to fix it...I feel the control slipping away and I cant get it back...
So I sincerely apologize to those I have hurt, pissed off, angered, upset or anything else negative to them...I cant control this crap and it effects my way of thinking...
As I said before I fully expect to lose friends over this but thats life...Ill cope with it somehow...
Thanks for listening...
Doc