I HAVE TO GO BACK. MY MOTHER AND STEP FATHER DROWNED WHEN I WAS 16. MY FATER..REAL FATHER, WOW, HE WAS MY WORLD. I WANTED TO MARRY HIM WHEN I GREW UP LIKE ALL LITTLE GIRLS. I BURIED MY MOTHER AND I HAD TO GO LIVE WITH MY FATHER...HERES THE KICKER...MY PARENTS WERE ALREADY MARRIED WHEN THEY GOT ME. SO I WAS THE LOVE CHILD AND THE BASTARD AT THE SAME TIME. MY MOTHER DYIN HURT ME TO THE CORE. A PART OF ME DIED WITH HER. I WANTED TO BE WITH HER SO I STOLE A BOTTLE OF MY FATHERS VALIUMS AND A BOTTLE OF SLOW GIN. DAMN, I WOKE UP. MY FATHER LOOKED ME IN THE FACE AND TOLD ME HE NEVER WANTED ME. I FELT SO ALONE AND UNLOVED AND IF U TOLD ME U LOVE ME I FELT IT WAS A LIE. I AM STILL TRYING TO GET OVER THIS. I LOST A GOOD MAN IN THE PROCESS. I PUT THIS OUT FOR THE WORLD CUZ LIKE I SAID, I AM REAL WITH MINE. I MAY NOT OPEN UP LIKE PEOPLE WANT BUT THIS IS MORE OPEN THEN I EVER HAVE. I LOVE U AND U KNOW WHO U R. U JUST HAVE TO UNDERSTAND ME. I HOPE THIS TELLS U ALOT.