Yes, Ryan uttered the "S" word at the end of last night's performance episode. Tonight we're in for the ultimate SHOCKER.
Goody.
But, of course, any hardcore Idol viewer knows that what they consider a "shocker" and what we consider "shocking" are often two very different things.
So what could it be on this night where Nigel, Ken, Ryan, Simon, et. al., will be high-fiving each other over the gazillions of dollars they have raised to save all of the little children all over the globe?
Maybe...
It won't be an elimination night. After all, what a downer way to end such a star-studded show than to kick one of the kids to the curb and make them cry as they watch their funeral footage. So the shocker could be that everybody's safe, because all of the votes were just meant to profit charity, not to crush the dreams of a better life for LaKisha and her kid. (We're saving kids, remember?) The problem with this, as a "shocker", is that they've done it before, in season two, after Corey Clark was disqualified, so technically it's not a shocker.
Perhaps...
They're staying true to the theme of "Idol Gives Back." And so, Idol will give us back Sanjaya!
Or...
They're going to admit that the votes really don't count and that Clay Aiken really won season two. And Jasmine Trias really won season 3.
Possibly...
They're going to announce that Brian Dunkleman is returning. (Okay, that would really be a shocker.)
Maybe...
They're going to reveal that the biggest corporate donors from last night were Chrysler and Pepsi.
How about...
They aren't going to run one single solitary commercial. And instead, they're donating the forfeited ad revenue to feed the starving kids. Yeah, right. And I'm the next Miss USA.
Consider...
The super-duper-top-secret duet will be Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell singing You Light Up My Life. Don Imus and Howard Stern will provide back-up vocals. Okay. Maybe not.
Possibly...
Nigel Lythgoe, Ken Warwick and the Three Stooges are going to issue a formal apology for this season. We all get our hours back plus a promise that next year will be better.
Or better yet...
It's gonna be a four-way boot! They just crown Jordin Sparks and Melinda Doolittle co-winners, give each of them a million dollar contract and finish out the rest of the season with a five-way showdown between Justin Guarini, Kimberley Locke, Diana DeGarmo, Bo Bice and Elliott Yamin. Hey. I'm liking that one.
So, what's your idea of a SHOCKER?
