I asked for strength, that I might achieve
I was made weak so that I learn how humbly to obey
I asked for help that I might do greater things
I was given infirmity so that I learn to do better things
I asked for riches that I might be happy
I was given poverty so that I learn to be wise
I asked for power that I might receive praise
I was given weakness so that I learn how to need
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life
I was given life so that I learn to enjoy all things
I got nothing that I asked for
but I received more than I knew existed
Almost despite myself
my unspoken prayers were answered
I among women am most richly blessed
~ author unknown ~
9-13-2009 MADE BY DJ PIMP DADDY
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(repost of original by 'DJ' on '2009-09-13 11:01:55')♫Pimp Daddy♫ FuEngaged To HuggieFux
Day after day and night after night I sit here. Why am I consumed with this all encompassing sense of empty sadness? At night I can hear all the nocturnal sounds... crickets making their endless chirping – coyotes calling to each other – the horses making their habitual demands. I am surrounded by life but none which can touch me.
So, I sit and I wait. Eventually I allow my imagination to roam across the wall of my prison. I start at the far upper left corner of the wall and make a tracing pattern across to the opposite end. Then back again to the other side…. back and forth until the pattern is completed on each wall. The scrutiny of my eyes seek out each and every flaw to be uncovered.
Why do I look for flaws? I know there are flaws. I've seen them a million times over. Yet, here I sit waiting and watching and listening.
There is a door – an escape. I have traced the pattern of the door as often as I have traced the walls. I stare at this alien thing in my domain as though I expect someone to walk through the door. Perhaps a valiant rescue attempt. But no one ever appears.
There is an alternative action. All I need do is stand up and place my hand on the door knob. Open the door and walk to freedom. I look at the door and study the structure.
I ponder the thought of an existence on the other side of this phenomenal object that distracts my solitude. There are no obvious answers. Only fear of the unknown. Walls of solitude offer sanctuary. No harm is allowed within these confines.
At last my attention diverts from the door of freedom. A single teardrop makes a sudden appearance and falls on my hand as if to say don't do it. Don't touch that door of damnation. Once again I allow my imagination to roam across the wall of my prison.
I start at the far upper left corner of the wall and make a tracing pattern across to the opposite end. Then back again to the other side…. back and forth until the pattern is completed on each wall................
My mind permeates with deadly thoughts
More cursed than ancient lethal tortures
It is the way my mind works……
I cloak my heart with a woven crown of lilies
My thoughts scrimmage though lush foliage
And threadbare skin is slick with sweat
It glistens like an image without a mirror
Silent movement echoes each step silent
My body tensely poised to snap a recoil
Attuned to foreign sounds that abound
As pale lips form a deceitful smile
I gracefully move into fading light
And take up guard in my rightful place
My home called the shadowlands
Ancient kindred spirits call out to me
Tis spoken in an unspoken language
Passed along with the sound of the wind
They call out to me as I quietly pass by
I have no form and give no substance
Yet my body casts off patterns reflected
You come seeking my tribal legend
Aching desire for the touch of my flesh
Yearn for a kiss from my tender mouth
Expectations to feel the velvet wings
I have sealed the hooded doorway
Cast off the scent of your love
Turned away your sweet taste
Removed my image from you
Replaced my shredded heart
With merely a stemmed lily
Look no more in my dreams
This Lilly has a sour bitter sting
I take pleasure in dark of night
Show me a man's playful heart
And I will see only lustful betrayal
I promise decay, dust, and ashes
This Lilly now thrives on cruel sorrow
I thrust my cold hand into your chest
Rip out your heart and crush it down
This sweet Lilly has a gift from man
I place each carefully weeded talisman
Upon the stone cold Altar of Fate
Seduction is only a promised offering
Enter my Shadowlands if you dare
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