Got this one recently...
Dear Timmy,
I have a date this Friday. I'd like to know the proper etiquette for taking a girl to White Castle.
signed Special Ed
OK Ed, grab a crayon and jot this down - First, you know those delicious tiny burgers are covered in onions. Ask them to hold the onions. They won't, but that gives your date the impression you're a take charge kinda guy. Next, try to pick a table that has been wiped recently, say sometime this week. And finally, it might be a good idea to stuff a sock in your shorts because you'll want to impress her at least once that evening.