Walking straight into the fire with my eyes wide open seems to be what I live to do. Knowing with every fiber of my being that I will fall once again and knowing there is nothing that will keep me from you. You will do as you have always done and hold back any emotion, any feelings will be purely physical in your eyes. To me though each caress will signify loss, emotional devastation and I will lay there in the afterglow and wonder my usual why's.
I put myself through this for the few short hours that in your arms I can be content, so that I can be where I long to be. I do this over and over again in the hopes that soon you will miss me as I miss you, that you will think of me in every woman that you see. I lay my heart on the line each time you call me, I know what it is in my mind yet my heart well that is another story all together. I have realistic moments where I know that this is all there will ever be, in your arms there is no forever.
I give all that I have to you only for you to to take and take and never once give anything in return. Yes you satisfy me physically but is that enough for me, will that ever cease the desire in which I yearn? No I know that it will not for I have needs that must be met just as you have desires that I can not fill. So I will once again come to you, I will surrender all that I am for you to do your will.
I will cry as I make the long journey home and I will ache with the knowledge that this may have been the last time I look into your face. I will shed tear after tear as I travel from lonliness to contentment then back to that ever so bleak place. I will move on for a time and I will be semi happy then I will see your name on the display and I will hurt for you. I will need like I have needed all along but yet I will be unsatisfied until your arms wrap around my quivering body...... like I always do.
