February 22, 2008 -
Lonesome and Aware of It:
Do I really need to go out tonight? Of course I do! Why? Because I'm naturally geared towards being around those people who have the same wants, needs and desires as myself. Am I always happy when I go out and over indulge? No, but I continue to do it anyway! Why? Because being lonely is nearly as bad as being dead at those certain times when the world just seems to be passing by along with the little things in life that make being here tolerable. Am I the only one who feels this way? I would hope not, but sometimes I think so. I continue to attempt to find solace in drinking myself into oblivion at those times when my mind is racing and the meaning of life seems to be far out of my grasp. Will I ever find inner peace? It seems highly unlikely after living the same droll existance for the last 46 years. Maybe this is just the pattern I was intended to follow, or maybe it's just the fear of not knowing any other way to carry on with my day to day attempt to live. I would gladly welcome any introspective comments to any of the nonsense I may post here, if for nothing else other than to feel I'm not alone.