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What are you waiting for?
You live your life thinking that you are the one that has the control. What happens when it feels like that power is starting to slip. No one truely knows who you are, nor will you alowe anyone to truely know you. Lieing to yourself to make you feel better, when all it does is make you feel worse. Hold that head up high, dont let them see that weak bitch that you are. Put that front on, but why. So others dont see where to hit you were it hurts. But what hurts worse, hiding the soft side or the compassionet side of you, or being that balls out no holds bar bitch that noone wants to fuck with or come close to. Wheres the middle. Is there a middle, and if so how do you use it. Grewing up all you do is hide who you really are, for fear of letting others in only to have them stab that emotional knife right in your gut. Fuck it whats the point anymore. Someone give me a good reason why I should keep trying. Im not talking about offing myself fuck that shit. I have no desire to die what so ever, thats just for weak pussies. Suppose i was right as a little kid when i had that dream that i was going to grow old alone, but what ever shit happens. God i hate sounding like a little bitch. Why couldnt i have lucked out and been a sosceopath, make things a lot easier. I dont know what else to write i guess ill do more later or something.
Later
