Love, as defined by wikipedia-- "is a constellation of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection or profound oneness. The meaning of love varies relative to context. Romantic love is seen as an ineffable feeling of intense attraction shared in passionate or intimate attraction and intimate interpersonal and sexual relationships. Love can also be construed as Platonic love, religious love, familial love, and, more casually, great affection for anything considered strongly pleasurable, desirable, or preferred, to include activities and foods. This diverse range of meanings in the singular word love is often contrasted with the plurality of Greek words for love, reflecting the concept's depth, versatility, and complexity."
As I am writing this, I have not looked up the definition to love just yet; as I am wasting time on the airplane; drinking chardonnay in First Class, writing my thoughts into blogs again. But I am almost pretty sure that my own thoughts on the “L” word aren’t entirely similar to those in the definition. I could be wrong, and if I am after looking it up, I will certainly make amendments at the end of this blog to incorporate that. But at this time I want to go with the thought that there is an impression in my mind of what Love is, via the social standard of thinking, and then there is my idea of what love is to me. (note, I am thinking in reading the definition of Love per Wikipedia that it does some of the gest of how I perceive love... I didnt get too deep into the definition as I like what i saw in the very beginning).
For ME- the L word just isnt all that. Meaning, that in my observation of how people perceive love, or “react” to someone who says “I love you”… it seems to me that ppl put a lot of significance on the word Love. It IS a significant word, don’t get me wrong; but I just think there are other words out there that seem to me to have more of an impact than “Love” and when someone hears THESE words, they should freak, not upon hearing the L word. Adore, Cherish, Worship, Devoted to, Treasure… those are a few I can think of right now. To me though, I wouldnt specifically be afraid of these words either as they dont tend to imply to me that I should be afraid of the emotions that bring forth these feelings, but then again being a woman I am dont tend to be afraid of emotions on most levels. (Id like to mention right now that the Chardonnay is tasting yummy, and making me rather warm and bubbly as I sit and think of the one person who comes to mind as to WHY I am writing this.)
Love is the word I use to tell my mom, dad and brother that I care for them deeply and that I am ever so grateful that they saw fit to bring me into this world, raise me to be the person that I am, and teach me to be a good person with good work ethic and an appreciation and respect for others, as well as life itself. I love them for the people that they are, for their tie to me, and for all that they have gone through with me and are still here for me after all this time. They are my family and will always be there for me and I am here for them.
Love is also the word I use with my friends. Some of them I tell that I Love them, and those that are ever so close to me understand that the love I have for them is a great appreciation/respect for them as human beings, as people on the planet, as people in my life whom have come my way and chosen to be connected to me in friendship and mutual respect. I truly love (treausre/cherish/adore) my friends and in some rare instances, I worship them (Lisa, Cori). Maybe it is because there are so few of them that “get” me. Being that I am a rather complicated and sometimes difficult person to get along with, the FEW that have made it through the test of time with me, are treasured more than any jewel or precious metal. I hope that they will always understand that when I say I love them, it means that they are so very important to me and that I truly would do anything in the world for them.
Love as a connection to people. When meeting someone that I connect with in a way that is unique to that person, I feel compelled to express what I am feeling. At times, I am merely feeling a connection of fate- as if I have spent my whole life living parallel to this person and finally our paths have crossed and I feel the connection there. This is powerful to me and I feel compelled to speak of that connection in what ever verbage comes to mind at the time. Then there is that connection that is something entirely different, completely unique to the person I am connecting with, with such an overpowering sense of emotion. This connection for me, is one of Love (admiration/respect/fascination/passion). Honestly if asked to explain it (and I have been asked or felt compelled to explain it because the response to “I love you” too early in a connection, tends to freak some people out- especially someone who might not quite know what to do with someone like me, that thinks like I do, and is in the specific situation that I am in) it is very hard to put into words. Hypothetically, If I meet someone that is everything I have looked for in a person but wasn’t even aware that I was looking for those things until I meet this particular person, can institute a connection that might bring about the expression of love. If I get butterflies in my stomach the instant that I look into their eyes, and embrace their gorgeous smile, I could be moved to the emotion of love. If the thought of them embracing me, whispering my name in the voice that is only theirs, sends shockwaves through my body, I could easily equate this to love (but in thinking of these more physical signs, it seems they would most likely equate to “lust” for the general populous.) I guess it is truly up to the interpretation of the receiving party more than it is the one speaking the sentiment. This is where it is seemingly dangerous territory in speaking such depth of emotions early on in a connection. I feel no shame in saying that I love the person that I am connected to, and I merely wish he could understand that I mean it with the best intentions, and with the deepest of emotion. I don’t mean it in harm or even as something that I expect the person to return. Love is something I give and do not expect to get in return. If I do get it in return, then all the better as it recharges my own supply to continue to give.
So to my dearest friend that struggles with the thought that I have confided in him that I love him (his eyes, his smile, his character, his being), and is not receiving it well- please take it for what it is worth per my definition of the word, not what you are conditioned to know. Know that it is a sincere form of care for you, the deepest of concern for your well being and the desire that your heart holds a place for me, definable or not. You are a wonderful person, with so much to give and experience in life and I wish you the best in everything you do and I hope that you continue to share these things with me. You are a kind soul and I am very thankful that you have come into my life in whatever capacity you wish to be and allowed me the time you have permitted up to this point. I am here for you if you need me, and contrary to what I said the other day… if you miss me, please tell me. Please text me, and let me know. Its nice to know that you are thinking of me; as I am thinking of you. There is nothing more that I want in this time in my life is to resolve whatever issues we might have at this time and move forward from here.
*kttn*
I love Monkey and everything that he is, even though he doesnt seem to understand me, my way of thinking or how I live my life. Doesnt change that I love him all the same.
