>>MAKING A BABY...
>>
>>
>>
>>The Smiths were unable to conceive children and
>>decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
>>
>>On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith
>>kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now;
>>The man should be here soon."
>>
>>Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
>>happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
>>
>>Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''
>>
>>Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in,
>>embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
>>
>>"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well,
>>that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
>>
>>"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.
>>Please come in and have a seat"
>>
>>After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where
>>do we start?"
>>
>>"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
>>bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple
>>on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is
>>fun. You can really spread out there."
>>
>>"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't
>>work out for Harry and me!"
>>"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one
>>every time. But if we try several different
>>positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm
>>sure you'll be pleased with the results."
>>
>>"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
>>
>>"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his
>>time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes,
>>but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
>>
>>"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
>>
>>The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled
>>out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was
>>done on the top of a bus," he said.
>>
>>"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
>>
>>"And these twins turned out exceptionally well -
>>when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
>>
>>"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
>>
>>"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to
>>the park to get the job done right. People were
>>crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."
>>
>>"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes
>>wide with amazement.
>>
>>"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more
>>than three hours, too.
>>
>>The mother was constantly squealing and yelling -
>>I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached
>>I had to rush my shots.
>>
>>Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my
>>equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
>>
>>Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they
>>actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"
>>
>>"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready,
>>I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
>>
>>"Tripod?"
>>
>>"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my
>>Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the
>>hand very long."
>>
>>Mrs. Smith fainted.........