Catalyst of Insanity TO Girl's blog: "Messed up no more"

Sooooo in contrast to how things have been as of late the most amazing thing happen one of the guys in my class is helping me get all hard ware to build my own Studio.... ahhhhh its so like dreamin u know ... i right now on my bed have the building blocks to my studio not just htat but he sold me stuff for it like on ave like 1/3 coast less then that it s sweetness ... ontop of that there were guy in my class who wanted it would have paided more so i got a sweet deal... i had a vary ruff week so this truend it all to the ups .... :D i so happy right now i mean my whole life i have wanted this. I have wanted to do something i love and i reallly going for my dreams

So today should have been good but omg it was horible i was in a car crash this afternoon i all i memeber thinking as it was about to happen is omg this is gonna hurt

SO i have been meaning to write about this but wow sooooooooo busy .... finding my self up at 545 am each morning and in classes form 8-4 but thne i stay longer and somedays having a night block its pretty wild lol ..... but amazing being i am doing something i love ..... but who new when i was taking sound design io would find out i need to start with Physics .... then we will do electircal work lol .... me being like an electrican kinda funny thought but none the less i will be doing it .... i will become a programer and learn to write my own programs b/c if i work on game sound i need to know how lol .... i will be an Engineer and this was something i had not so much expected ... but am way happy to learn so happy ... studing hard i just woke up form my nap so i have a fresh head to go thur my next few hoursw lol but i am truly happy doing this and i start Pro tools 2moro witch is the back bone of all sound design i cant wait ... ohh ohh ohhhh and i am going with my dad shopping for my appartment sat morning yay :D.... just sooo much happening thanks for al thye support of my good friends lol and for ppl who just happy to ear about it

Soooooo it was soo sooo sooooooo awsome i had a freat day .... double eged blade my class is all guys .... i trying to fidn where i will fit lol i was sooo girly today in pink and white and spike white heels lol but i looked cute ... i loved thre migaling part where i got ot meethe ppl form other classes the film guys rock ..... i spent like half the day even after with one guy form it and we all swiched numbers and emails for networking but i can tell a few of them i def am gonna wanna work with and cheak in with to cuz they just kick ass ppl

so its funny when u find a song that gose right into how u feel like to the world but ya i found one lol .... anyways i had such a bast night i went out wiht my best friend we had a few drinks weirdest thing i we had some shooters and the with out anything touching one of the shot glasses when isaid me an my faincee just broke the glass slip in half ... perfectly in half nothing even touching it. it was like bazar anyways that i took to be a sigh that its right to be broken lol i kept it lol anyways it rained last night we went to the park i love the rain on a warm night like last night i thought ot get into sheila again lol i took off my sweater and i took off my shirt and i ran in thge hills spun int he rian feeling it on my skin lay in the gras feeling it prickaly damp coolness on my skin looked at the gray sky and laughed it felt alive but ya here is that song http://cherrytap.com/stashEntry.php?stashId=1383896&bl=1 It's funny how you think you really know yourself Like you would never lose yourself to someone else And I was up to thinking it was all about you and me Silly silly me I should have never listened to a word you said But I was always giving in to promises I never should have gone for I should never long for you no matter how hard it gets And I want this to be over I so want this to be through In the end somehow it always comes back to you Cause everywhere I go No matter what I do boy I just can't get you out of my head So it annoys me (You wasn't man enough) To come and tell me (That I was never the one) Like you said I was (You could have told someone) You knew you didn't love me anymore If you had only told me how you really felt I could have put my feelings into someone else But I was busy thinkin' I was where I was supposed to be Silly silly me But there was something 'bout you that I couldn't resist Can't put my finger on it but whatever it is I never should have stood for it I know you're no good for me And that's the way it is And I want it to be over I so want it to be through In the end somehow it always comes back to you Cause everywhere I go No matter what I do boy I just can't get you out of my head So it annoys me (You wasn't man enough) To come and tell me (That I was never the one) Like you said I was (You could have told someone) You knew you didn't love me anymore I tell myself Get over you It's over right Right thing to do And just when I thought I was done You pull me in for another run I can't take this I won't take this I can't do this I Won't do it Even if I know in the end somehow it always comes back to you Cause everywhere I go No matter what I do boy I just can't get you out of my head So it annoys me (You wasn't man enough) To come and tell me (That I was never the one) Like you said I was (You could have told someone) You knew you didn't love me anymore Cause everywhere I go No matter what I do boy I just can't get you out of my head So it annoys me (You wasn't man enough) To come and tell me (That I was never the one) Like you said I was (You could have told someone) You knew you didn't love me anymore Cause everywhere I go No matter what I do boy I just can't get you out of my head So it annoys me (You wasn't man enough) To come and tell me (That I was never the one) Like you said I was (You could have told someone) You knew you didn't love me anymore

These times we find outselves we question ourselves was it all a waste? we try to cling to those moments which make us smile and yet we still wonder why not sure where to turn who is gonna care? who will show us the way? A shattered heart a fragile soul for those who wear their hearts up on their sleeves we need to find our path out of these woods find the opening seek the light and ye shall find. what you will find is up to you and you alone there is no one to take your hand and guide you along your road as hard as it may be the question for you is Is it meant to be like this? when will it turn around? when will you decide to stand and fight for yourself, and not the weak hearted fools that destroy us, and bring us down. They shake our branches for the fruits of our souls, and lives all that we work for all that we are. taken and plucked from our branches. as though they are free, and there is no cost. little do they know, the cost of the pains they cause. It's up to you now to decide. Is this what you want? is this how it's meant to be for you? is this your life now? Or will you turn and say ENOUGH!!!! will you turn and say I'VE HAD IT!!! let these bruises heal sweet girl. and give your self time to clear these wounds. Let him come crawling back on all fours, like the dog he is. Let him worship the very ground you walk on. Make him beg and pleed. the best thing any broken hearted soul can do is take a small walk in the other direction...... ~Alex McGrory~