I enjoy expanding my horizons. I can be easy to get along with or very hard to put up with. Personally, I'd have to recommend never screwing with me, EVER. I may not always come off as a really nice person, but I AM. If you are truly my friend and I care for you in any way, I would break my back to give the world for you. However, I will be the most evil bitch ever if you purposefully screw me over. I can make life hell for people.
Don't AT ALL think I am a slut, I just have a terrible mouth and I'm a touch perverted SOMETIMES. I do not pass the goodies out like Halloween candy to just anyone. If I would actually act out everything I talk about and say to people, then you could call me a slut. I get annoyed easily. In the past, I used to get attached too quickly, yet lately I tend to let go very fast.
I'm weird, and people tell me that alot. I can get pretty paranoid, and my true friends that know me well will say that I'm (slightly) neurotic. I am hard to follow in a conversation and I swear that I have ADD. I don't have many close friends that are female and I don't usually like females as friends. I like to argue, and don't always take me seriously when I do, you'll wind up crazy. Only people that I truly like can get away with calling me by a nickname. My friends are like air to me, I cannot go one day without talking to atleast two or three of them - I'll feel too weird.
I am a hypocrite, and my hypocrisy knows no bounds. I NEVER take my own advice. I'm rarely ever serious. I can find humor in absolutely anything (trust me) if the timing is appropriate, but mostly when it's not. I am extremely sarcastic and cynical. I love irony. There are a lot of people who don't understand my sense of humor and say I can come across as a bitch because of that lack of understanding. But I'm not a bitch, atleast not all the time. In fact, I'm not happy unless those around me that I care about are happy. I'm a total dork; just ask my daughter or my close friends. I don't do things for attention, I do them because they are fun. I dance to my own tune. I like to party like a rock star with a new liver.
I'm not afraid to be myself as long as I don't have to open up too much. I never worry about, and don't give a damn, what other people think. I can't stand people who lie and are fake. I can't stand ignorant people that refuse to be educated. I'm very intolerant of bullshit, and I will rarely bite my tongue. And my "inability to remain silent" gets me into trouble quite a bit. I hate guys that play games - they are just little boys in the bodies of grown men.
I shed my skin and show my true self to very, very few people because its so hard to find genuine and true people today. I hate exposing myself only to wind up getting burned by someone who I thought was sincere but only wanted to play games. I'm extremely suspicious of human nature. My walls will not come down anymore. If they do, it is usually because I know you extremely well, or if I have been drinking, and that's usually when I need a shoulder.
I love spontaneity. I love adventure. I love the outdoors. I love staring at the stars at night and the clouds during the day. I love sneak attacks and I love scaring the piss out of people. I love to fuck with people. I love challenges - the right challenge can be a total turn on. I love having awesome friends in my life that will get out of bed, drive for an hour (or more!!) at 2am to pick me up and take me home when I am drunk, and not once try to take advantage of me OR complain about the drive. I love having big strong guys as friends that will carry me out of a bar so I won't get arrested. I'm not a morning person, but I love getting phone calls in the middle of the night with either a friend or a boyfriend on the other end saying "Hey! Wake up!! I couldn't sleep and was thinking about you. Remember the time when we (blahblahblah.....)" I love text messaging my oldest friend Metallica lyrics that make me think of her in the middle of the night. I LOVE surprises, no matter how small. I love getting little presents "just because".
I love getting drunk with good friends and TOTALLY letting go of my inhibitions. (Haha, "people learn things when I drink") I love looking at myself the mirror. I love thinking about the only two men in my life that never broke my heart - and I hate thinking about the way I broke both their hearts, and I regret not saying the things I should have. I love the little things in life. Just - moments. Things that a random person does to catch your attention. Smiles from strangers. Making someone smile. I love laughter. Babies. First kisses. Holding the hand of someone who is dying, comforting their grieving family. Helping people that really need it and refusing to take anything in return. Sunrises and sunsets. Things you'll never forget. People you'll never, ever forget.
I have been disappointed, kicked around, used, walked on, and fucked over so much in my life that I used to make it a point to hold back on every single thing I'm capable of giving and showing. But I'm working on letting that go. It's still hard to give any one man 100nymore even though I might want to. A friend of mine always tells me that I have an amazingly beautiful, warm heart, and we argue about it because now I disagree.
I have to be reminded of things constantly because my short term memory blows (did I already say that?). I'm optimistic, yet the glass is always half empty at the same time. I'm very confident the majority of the time. I'm indecisive. I'm very blunt. I've been known to take honesty to an extreme. I hate excuses and I hate when people break promises. I can't stand weak people. I get aggravated when people are inconsiderate and do things like don't push their chairs in or return phone calls. I can't stand a man that won't open a door for a woman. I hate it when people think that I am spiteful or that I hate them. I hate my scarred smile and the scar I have between my eyes. I don't give in to peer pressure. I hate it when people try to control me, but there are very few people (only 2) that know how to "pull my strings" just the right way and these people can control me and get me to do what they want me to do, and I hate that they know my weaknesses.
I'm not shy, but I've been told I come off as shy, and that's usually because I'm being very observant, very self-absorbed, or because (rarely) I'm set back by my surroundings. I've developed my skill of annoying others into a pure form of art, and I am extremely proud of that. I hate romance but love getting flowers and doing things like making out by a lit fireplace or taking a walk under the stars. I am EXTREMELY affectionate. Told ya I was a hypocrite. When I date someone, he is my best friend. I love spending time with that person I'm with even if I can't, don't or won't love him.
