Don't compromise yourself. You're all you've got. — Janis Joplin
As a Type 1, The Idealist, you're an individual who sees how good things truly can be. This sense of optimism and discerning nature has probably helped you develop quite a strong set of values. However for you, it's not simply a question of having high morals; it's about having predetermined standards for each aspect of your life and setting the bar high. More than most people, you not only appreciate it when the things and people around are the best that they can be — you expect them to be. In fact, attaining your ideals and surrounding yourself with others who do the same helps your life feel balanced and right. However at times, unrealistic expectations may cause you to work feverishly toward your goals, believing that you can always do better.
While you're busy achieving great things and making excellent impressions — as you're bound to — you may also have an over-active inner critic chattering away in your head. This voice likely monitors both your actions and those of the people around you — and none too kindly. It may also point out people's faults and inconsistencies of character. Chalk this negative self-talk up to your acute attention to detail and try to quiet it whenever possible. It is a good thing to have benchmarks that you can measure life by. At the same time, focusing on these criteria too closely can lead to disappointment when things don't measure up. By learning to harness the most positive aspects of your idealistic tendencies, you can learn to embrace others' differences and celebrate their successes. Know that you can accept people's weaknesses — even your own — without having to abandon your moral character or strong sense of values.
Like everyone, to some extent your personality has been shaped by past experiences. One reason you may identify with Idealists, Enneagram Type 1, is if you received any heavy criticism from authority figures during your childhood. If this is the case, your personality may have developed so that you try to "be good" to avoid being a disappointment or getting into trouble in the future. Another possibility is that as a child you may have been encouraged to take on the kinds of responsible roles usually held by adults. This kind of situation could have created an inner pressure to perform well, as well as an expectation that you should always be capable beyond your natural level.
Your enneagram report
How your type works for (or against) you
Compatibility in love
Compatibility at work
History behind the test
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When you're feeling your best, you probably experience a sense of oneness with others and understand that, really, everything is perfect — or at least perfect enough — just the way it is. You may also become aware that although it normally seems that there is only one proper way to do things, there are actually many correct paths. At these times, you can sense that life isn't always about what's right and wrong. Sometimes it's just about appreciating what's different. In this positive and open state, you can realize your full potential.
However, you aren't likely to be at your best every day. During the times when you're feeling your worst, you may become angry or guilty about not having reached your own high standards. You may also grow to resent others' successes or to feel dissatisfied with the state of your own life. At times when you've started to give up on yourself, you may notice yourself becoming clumsy or careless. You may also make even more mistakes. In critiquing these errors, you create an even lower opinion of yourself. Know that this kind of downward spiral is caused by a belief that you must be "good," or even perfect, to be worthy of love. By possessing such a worldview, you can try endlessly to be correct and proper and endlessly fail because there is no such thing as complete and total perfection in life.
How can you avoid feeling your worst and start feeling your best? Above all, have compassion for yourself. Try to recognize when you're being overly critical and stop talking yourself down. When you recognize that the world isn't perfect and that you aren't either, you can breathe easier and accept yourself the way you are. It will also help you to practice acceptance and forgiveness of others. Finally, allow yourself time to relax and play. You'll likely discover that you can be happy and productive without always needing to steadfastly focus on your goals.
As a Type 1, The Idealist, your typical strategy when looking for love likely involves making yourself as worthy of love as possible. To do this, you can make continued efforts to meet your self-imposed standards regarding what is appealing and acceptable. In essence, you try to be as good as you can be. You want any date of yours to know what a prize they have discovered. You may attempt to do this through elaborate pre-date grooming rituals that help you look your very best. You may also focus conversation on your accomplishments and successes. At times, these methods will work like a charm. When they don't, you're likely to feel a bit rejected.
At times when you're feeling unloved, you might blame yourself for not being good enough or hold resentment against others for not seeing how lovable you are. In a move toward greater self-acceptance, try to regard yourself as a whole being, not someone divided into "good" and "bad" parts. Let yourself feel worthy of love, despite your perceived faults. Realize that not all goals in life will be met. Things often work out in ways you didn't anticipate. Sometimes the results are better, sometimes worse, but most often they're just different. Try to embrace all these possibilities, especially as you're looking for love.
When looking for a romantic partner using Enneagram types, consider how the types interact. The descriptions below give a general sense of how well each type matches yours. They also describe where the pleasure in these matches is likely to be manifested and identifies challenges you may face.
Pairing 1: Shared vision. An "Idealist / Idealist" relationship is marked by high ideals and a focus on shared relationship goals. The two of you can be at your best when you're living by your mutually valued standards and achieving your dreams together. However, tension can occur between the two of you when you possess opposing views of what is right.
Pairing 2: Save the world. An "Idealist / Humanitarian" relationship is marked by a shared desire to improve the lives of others. The two of you can be at your best when you're using your shared time and resources for the greater good. However, tension can occur between the two of you if you take your Humanitarian's helpful suggestions as personal criticisms. They may also have a tendency to interfere with your need for space and independence at times.
Pairing 3: Achievement. An "Idealist / Entertainer" relationship is marked by high levels of achievement as both types are focused on success. The two of you can be at your best when you're both achieving the goals you've set for yourselves and showing support for one other's endeavors. Tension in your relationship can result from your Entertainer's tendency to cut corners and your opposing tendency to be a stickler for details.
Pairing 4: Sense of purpose. An "Idealist / Expressive" relationship is marked by a real sense of purpose and connectedness. The two of you can be at your best when you're sharing your time and thoughts to relate on a deeply personal level. However, know that criticizing your Expressive too harshly when they don't seem to fit your need for perfection can create tension in your relationship.
Pairing 5: Self-reliance. An "Idealist / Experimenter" relationship is marked by self-reliance and rational agreements. The two of you can be at your best when you're both taking care of your own needs and steering clear of emotionally charged issues. Tension is likely to arise when either one of you makes negative judgments about the other's morals or intellect.
Pairing 6: Strong and serious. An "Idealist / Advocate" relationship is marked by a desire to build a strong and serious relationship together. The two of you can be at your best when you're focused on doing just that. However, your Advocate's tendency to skeptically question your beliefs or plans may create tension in your relationship — especially if they trigger your fear of being proven wrong.
Pairing 7: Reverse limits. An "Idealist / Adventurer" relationship is marked by each having different perspectives on limits, constraints, and correct action. The two of you can be at your best when you're enjoying one another's differences and both making space for each other's views. Tension is likely to result when your respect for rules and regulations clashes with your Adventurer's fervent disregard for them.
Pairing 8: Joined for justice. An "Idealist / Leader" relationship is marked by a joined quest for justice and fairness. The two of you can be at your best when you're both behaving in ways that the other finds helpful and just. Tension between the two of you can result if you lack spontaneity or your Leader feels the need to impose the "right" ways of doing things on you.
Pairing 9: Steady. An "Idealist / Negotiator" relationship is marked by dependability, steadiness, and a desire for a harmonious relationship. The two of you can be at your best when you're taking good care of one another and valuing the other's company. If tensions arise in your relationship, it can be due to inflexibility on your part. It can also be due to any feelings of inferiority your Negotiator has regarding you.
Find a partner using Enneagram types
Find someone who will love you for who you are. Not everyone is a perfectionist. There are loads of people who will treasure you for both your excellence and your self-proclaimed faults.
Now that you know what your Enneagram type brings to a relationship, you can begin your search for a partner who has a compatible type. Try this:
Think about how you can learn to manage your negative tendencies in a relationship. By preparing for your next relationship in this way, you can give yourself a head start to having smoother relations in tough times.
Print out the nine compatibilities provided above and place a star next to each pairing that appeals to you. Consider both (a) the allure of the positive aspects and (b) how well you think you could handle the negative aspects. There isn't a relationship pairing that exists without tension, but you can choose the kind of tension you're most comfortable with.
Now get your search started. How can you find out the Enneagram types of potential partners? There are a few ways: (a) you can try to guess a person's type by the way they interact with you on a first date, (b) you can encourage them to take Tickle's Enneagram test and tell you what their type is, or (c) you can search on Tickle Matchmaking where available singles have posted all kinds of Tickle test results (including the Enneagram) so that others can get to know about their personality before agreeing to a first date.
Your enneagram report
How your type works for (or against) you
Compatibility in love
Compatibility at work
History behind the test
For More Reading
You'll usually do your best in positions where processes and procedures are in place. This leverages your ability to follow the rules and keep things orderly. In management positions, you can run a tight ship. You also excel at streamlining and systematizing an organization. Fields you are most likely to be suited to include teaching, research, or accounting.
When you're considering employment with a new company, one of the most important things for you to think about is how well you'll get along with your potential co-workers. The descriptions below give a general sense of how well each of the Enneagram types matches yours in the workplace, as well as how well you're likely to work with that type in supervisory and support positions.
Here's what you're likely to experience working with:
another Type 1 (The Idealist): Shared vision. When you're working harmoniously with your own type as either the boss or the subordinate, you will find that you can achieve great things as you both have the same high standards and work ethic. Be aware that you may experience friction if you have differing approaches to what is moral and correct.
Type 2 (The Humanitarian): Save the world. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, your efforts will likely be focused on improving the plight of others, perhaps through non-profit work. Be aware that you may have friction if the Humanitarian tries too hard to help when you really don't need — or want — their assistance.
Type 3 (The Entertainer): Achievement. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you can be focused on success almost to the exclusion of all other things. Be aware that you may have friction if the Entertainer cuts corners on details that are important to you.
Type 4 (The Expressive): Sense of purpose. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you will be operating as a tight team with clear goals. Be aware that you may have friction if the Expressive takes your professional criticisms personally and gets hurt.
Type 5 (The Experimenter): Self-reliance. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you will work separately and rationally toward shared goals. Be aware that you may have friction if the Experimenter seems to believe that they are intellectually superior to you.
Type 6 (The Advocate): Strong and serious. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you will have a solid working relationship built on loyalty. Be aware that you may have friction if the Advocate questions your beliefs too much, causing you to feel picked on. Type 7 (The Adventurer): Reverse limits. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you will understand and respect each other's approach to authority. Be aware that you may have friction if the Adventurer disregards the company's authority in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or angry.
Type 8 (The Leader): Joined for justice. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you work together for the cause of justice. Be aware that you may have friction if the Leader becomes too controlling or overbearing.
Type 9 (The Negotiator): Steady. When you're working harmoniously with this type as either the boss or the subordinate, you trust that your work relationship will remain dependable and steady into the future. Be aware that you may have friction if the Negotiator develops feelings of inferiority to you.
