A virus stronger than anything else has polluted my heart. It was an unexpected plague that I couldn't control. Why would you deliberately infect me with this disease? –This is a rhetorical question- I must say, before you start listing your excuses.
This pollution has shrunk my heart and has dried it into a fragment. It's rotting away slowly, as the insects have their way at it. You led me into believing something I had never wanted to believe it, but then you proved me right. I was handing you everything and you didn't let me know that it was just a far a way fantasy. You took it all without a thought about how it might end, but I did. I knew it from the beginning, but I still I stood aside and watched you poison me. I cannot tell you why, I let you damage my untouched heart. I can only say that I was blinded by your toxic kiss. I suppose that I was relying faithfully on my false hope. Yes, there is my answer.
I tried everything to get rid of the ache. I tried throwing up my love, but it's too much to cough out. I tried admitting my mistakes and feeling the guilt. I did feel guilty, and I didn't know what to do about it. I would apologizes a million times and take everything back, but what about you? You don't even know the meaning of the words 'I'm sorry'. It wouldn't matter how many wars I fought, you would never understand.
You could have simply left my heart broken into. It would have been easier for me to put back the pieces. Instead, you had to pour salt on my wounds.
My symptoms: trembling hands, throbbing heart, incessant tears.
My heart is green. No, it is not the usual 'black cold heart' as people like to say. It is green. It is envious and sick. It is disgusted with its symbolism. But it is also green, because there is a chance of life.
I just wanted you to know. I'm letting go, but not of me. You know I am to selfish for that. I hope to find a cure to my epidemic and I know my past is not where it is.
p.s.
this is kinda old 
