why is it when you find something all your emotiones come out. I just found a letter my mom had wrote me five years ago. It brought out all the pain and sadness I still have with her not being here anymore.....Its been two years october6 and its still hard, there are so many things that I wish I could have said to her...I wish her and I both werent so hard headed because there for awhile we hardly talked at all because of somethings that happened in my life...Now I kick myself in the ass because instead of being hard headed I could have spent more time talking to her and spending time with her...Now I never will.Me and her was so much alike that we butted heads alot over stuff.even growing up I gave her hell and I regret it so much....Then I get so mad at God because he took her away from me. She was still very young and had alot left to live for.she was only 47 and died because of kidney fauler do to diabtes...If I could just hear her voice again or get a hug from her again. I would do anything for that. People say at least you were ther when it happned But that still does not make me feel any better.