(I’m a host at a restaurant and am talking to a customer after ringing them out.)
Customer: “So, are you in high school?”
Me: “No, I’m in college.”
Customer: “Oh, that’s great! What do you want to do with your degree?”
Me: “Well, I’m majoring in history. I want to get a Ph.D. and be a professor.”
Customer: “Oh, you shouldn’t do that. You should be an air traffic controller!”
Me: “Um…I don’t know if that’s the right job for me. It would be a little too stressful.”
Customer: “But you know what the worst job in the world is?”
Me: “What?”
Customer: “Translator.”
Me: “A translator? Why?”
Customer: “Because the government kills them.”
Me: “What?”
Customer: “It’s true, my husband was in the Navy for 35 years, and after secret meetings the translators knew too much, so they would take them out back and shoot them.”
Me: “Oh. Wow, that’s…terrible. I guess I won’t be a translator then.”
Customer: “Good. Remember, become an air traffic controller!”