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Jake from State Farm's blog: "Nowadays"

created on 07/09/2007  |  http://fubar.com/nowadays/b100448

(I’m a customer eating at a restaurant which has a house challenge: if you eat one of their extra large pizzas by yourself, you’ll get it free and get your name and picture on the wall. I’m watching another customer who has eaten half the pizza when this happens:)

Chef: “You having trouble there, buddy?”

Customer: “Nah man, I got this, I got this…”

(The customer takes another bite, chokes it down and throws up on the floor.)

Chef: “Woah, woah! Someone get that cleaned up. Buddy, I think you need to stop.”

Customer: “Nah man, I got this, I can do this!”

(The customer vomits again.)

Chef: “Alright that’s it. You gotta quit, both for your sake and mine.”

Me: “He’s spitting out more than he’s eating.”

Customer: “Man just…gimme like two minutes and I’ll be okay…”

Chef: “Tell you what, you get outta my store and I’ll give you the pizza for half-off.”

Customer: “No way, I can do this! You just watch! You watch me right here, right now!”

(He takes another couple bites, but doesn’t vomit this time.)

Chef: “Look buddy, you puked. That automatically disqualifies you. Just go on home before I gotta throw you out.”

Customer: “Nooooo! You don’t get it bro, I gotta do this!” *forces more pizza in his mouth*

Chef: “Sorry buddy, but that’s it. You’re torturing yourself.”

(The chef and another customer drag the guy outside, and that was the last I saw him that night. I later found out that the guy showed up the next day at the restaurant in a pink dress. Apparently, he had a bet with his friend that if he didn’t eat the whole pizza, he’d have to wear the dress for a day…)

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