Customer: “Hi, my son says that I have spartans on my laptop and I should bring it to you guys.”
Me: “…Ma’am? Spartans?”
Customer: “Yes, I called my son at school and told him that screens keep popping up all the time, and he said that I have spartans.”
Me: “Oh! You mean trojans! That’s a possibility; let me run this analyzer on your laptop real quick and we’ll see what’s going on.”
Customer: “Young man, my son is in college and he says it has spartans. You just stand here in a little uniform and make minimum wage. I think my son knows what he is talking about.”
Me: “You’re right ma’am. I was hoping to run a diagnostic and find out that it wasn’t spartans, but just by looking at the login screen, I can tell that you probably have about 300 of the little guys running around.”
Customer: “300?! Is that bad?”
Me: “It’s horrible. They cram themselves into a bottleneck and kill wave after wave of data, until there is a wall of dead programs blocking any more traffic through your computer.”
Customer: “Oh, that just figures. I’m going to go buy a new computer.”
Me: “Ok, ma’am, I think that would be best.”
