When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with
their tedious diatribes about how hard things were
when they were growing up; what with walking
twenty-five miles to school every morning ... uphill
BOTH ways .. yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,
there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of
crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how
easy they've got it!
But now that...
I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but
look around and notice the youth of today.
You've got it so easy!
I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn
Utopia!
And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know
how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet.
If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the
damn library and look it up ourselves,
in the card catalog!!
There was no email! ! We had to actually write
somebody a letter ... with a pen! Then you had to walk
all the way across the street and put it in the
mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal
music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store
and shoplift it yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the
radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning
and @#*% it all up!
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When
the phone rang,
you had no idea who it was! It could be your school,
your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a
collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to
pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games
with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari
2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "asteroids"
and the graphics were horrible! Your guy was a little
square! You actually had to use your imagination! And
there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just
one screen forever! And you could never win. The game
just kept getting harder and harder and faster and
faster until you died! . Just like LIFE!
When you went to the movie theater there no such thing
as stadium seating! All the seats were the same
height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat
in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just
screwed!
Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was
only like 15 channels and there was no onscreen menu
and no remote control! You had to use a little book
called a TV Guide to find out what was on!
You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You
had to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to
change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network
either!
You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning.
Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK
for cartoons, you spoiled little b#$&*&ds!
And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat
something up, we had to use the stove or go build a
fire ... imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to
use that stupid JiffyPop thing and shake it over the
stove forever like an idiot.
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today
have got it too easy. You're spoiled.
You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in
1980!
Regards,
The over 30 Crowd